Will Work For Sports

Feasting

2010-04-09T15:16:00.007-04:00

The Tigers took care of the Royals, winning the opening series 2 games to 1 and began their series against the Indians with a win this afternoon to move into a tie for first in the AL Central (pending the Indians/ChiSox game tonight). It is going to be very key for the Tigers to eat up the lower-tier teams in the division now because in a week they begin a tough road trip through the West with 3 games in Seattle, 4 in Anaheim (or is it Los Angeles?) and a final 4 in Arlington. All 3 of these AL West teams have struggled so far this year with a combined 3-8 record, but the Angels are the reigning division champs and still have Mike Scioscia, the Mariners have fantastic pitching and the Rangers can absolutely rake even if Josh Hamilton isn't right. Rough starts or not, this is going to be a tough road trip early in the year.

The pitching has been a real strength for the team so far this year. The starters have posted a combined 3.27 ERA... and that's with Verlander having the roughest outing of the year among the starters which, obviously, is unlikely to continue so we can expect even more improvement there. Scherzer in particular carved up the Royals to the tune of a 6.0 IP 0 ER 1 H 2 BB 3 K gem. Unfortunately he didn't get the win due to an equally excellent outing from Luke Hochevar. The Tigers eventually lost when a Sizemore error on a relay throw from the outfield allowed the winning run to score in the 11th after Miggy tied the game with 2 outs in the 9th and then we took the lead in the top of the 11th. Exciting game, but all for nothing, unfortunately. The Tigers then bounced back behind an inspired performance by Dontrelle Willis the next day to pound the Royals and take the series. When Dontrelle walked the first batter he faced on four not-even-close balls, then immediately allowed a single I began to fear that this was going to be an ugly outing. To his credit though, Dontrelle kept the damage to a minimum and ended up with a respectable 6.0 IP 2 ER 6 H 2 BB 4 K line. Although control will seemingly always be an issue, Dontrelle had a few very efficient innings and was helped by 3 double plays that the Tigers managed to turn (including 2 hit into by Alberto Callaspo). Although it's easy to doubt Dontrelle's skills, his optimism cannot be doubted and even though he is terrible I find myself rooting for the guy to succeed. Kudos on a solid game, sir.

Speaking of the double play, the Tigers have been really feeling their groove defensively - they have turned 8 of them in the last 3 games. Offensively, a pair of Tigers in Maggz and Miggy have been feeling their groove as well. Miggy looks like he is poised to challenge for MVP this year (even though he went 0/3 with a BB today) and Maggz is carrying over his success at the end of last season and looking more like the 2006 version by hitting .500 with 1 HR and 2 RBI. If Ordonez remains productive for the entire season it will really, really help to jump start this offense that isn't projected to be that great.

Rookie Austin Jackson is showing glimpses of the special things he can do. He has been electric; hitting .333 with 4 of his 6 hits going for extra bases (3 2B, 1 3B) and also easily swiped his first bag of the year today. If he continues to bring speed and extra bases to the top of the order for Damon, Maggz and Miggy then he is going to score a lot of runs and have a great year. Ooooh it's exciting. The strikeouts are definitely troublesome (6 K to only 1 BB in 18 AB) and he needs to work on cutting back on those, but that is a problem a lot of young players have and continuing to put up a .368 OBP will make people forget about striking out a lot. The strikeouts have been Granderson-esque but the OBP certainly hasn't been.

Analyzing statistics after only 4 games in a game like baseball where sample size is extremely important may seem silly, but the Tigers are on pace for 121 wins so who fucking cares wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!

It Begins!

2010-04-07T13:52:00.003-04:00

The Tigers opened the season on Monday with an 8-4 win over Greinke's Royals. Greinke himself was excellent (6.0 IP 6H 1 ER 1 BB 4 K) but lost his chance at a decision when KC's beleaguered bullpen surrendered 6 runs in the 7th. The bullpen blowing the lead for Greinke is going to be a common theme throughout the season. They are so bad that he could post a sub 2.20 ERA again and possibly finish with even less than 16 wins.

Whenever I watch the Royals play I am utterly flummoxed that everyone on the team minus Soria, Butler and Greinke even plays major league baseball. It is going to be an ugly, ugly year for them.

On the Tigers side of things, Verlander didn't pitch great (5.0 IP 6 H 4 ER 1 BB 6 K) but kept the Tigers in the game. Not a whole lot for me to comment on there - I'm not worried about Verlander at all (he started his eventual 3rd place in AL Cy Young voting campaign last year kinda shaky as well) and he'll be fine. When Verlander handed the ball off to the bullpen they responded well and mostly cruised until a little bit of trouble in the 9th that Valverde was able to battle out of. Zumaya was back to his fireballing self and said after the game that he felt great and Ryan Perry, Phil Coke and brand new closer Jose Valverde all performed admirably. I'm still kinda dubious about surrendering a first round pick for Valverde... but we'll see.

Besides the bullpen, the other positive notes for the team were how two of the new guys played. Johnny Damon went 2/5 with a double, 2 RBI and 2 runs scored while Austin Jackson had a double, an RBI and gunned down Jason Kendall at home to save a run in the 7th. Leyland called Jackson's outfield assist the "play of the game". It is nice to see two new guys who will play key roles at the top of the order for the Tigers perform well in the season opener and hopefully it is a forecast for things to come. The only issue I have is that Jackson struck out twice, which he really needs to avoid to keep his OBP up. We don't need Granderson 2.0 in the leadoff slot.

The Tigers resume their series against the Royals tonight with newly acquired SP Max Scherzer taking the mound against former first-overall pick (and perennial disappointment) Luke Hochevar. I'd like to see Miggy blast this chump and begin his ascent towards 2010 AL MVP. Then on Thursday the D-Train takes the mound in what should be an... interesting... start. The countdown timer to Galarraga getting recalled from Toledo is going to begin at approximately 2:10 Eastern on Thursday afternoon. BTW why the fuck is Porcello behind Willis in the rotation? I can understand trying to protect the youngest guy on the staff, but do we really need extra starts for Dontrelle? Seriously, a good spring training notwithstanding, Dontrelle blows.

You Know What To Get Me For My Birthday

2010-03-12T16:09:00.003-05:00

Doug Baker's 1984 World Series ring is on eBay for a cool $7100 and there's only 46 min left so you better hurry the fuck up if you want to buy this for me.

Baseball Offseason: Injuries, Injuries and More Injuries

2010-03-12T14:34:00.003-05:00

From Brandon Webb to Jose Reyes (and Carlos Beltran) to Ben Sheets to lesser known guys like Russel Branyan and Cameron Maybin, injuries have certainly been the story of spring training so far this year. The most devastating injury of all will end up being the right elbow of Joe Nathan however. The Twins were favored by basically everyone on the planet to win the AL Central this year, including me, after winning it last year and then adding 2B Orlando Hudson and SS JJ Hardy and the potential bounce back of Francisco Liriano... but this injury changes everything.

Joe Nathan's statistics in a Twins uniform have been impressive, to say the least. The last six years he has posted a 1.87 ERA .934 WHIP 11.1 K/9 and averaged 41 saves/year. The only closer on Nathan's level over the past six years? Mariano Rivera (1.90 ERA .936 WHIP 8.7 K/9 40.5 saves/year) of course. Nathan's ability is, to put it simply, irreplaceable and the Twins are scattering likes cockroaches when the lights go on trying to find his replacement. Jon Rauch, Matt Guerrier, Pat Neshek, Jose Mijares and Franciso Liriano have all been mentioned as possibly the new Twins closer but the only thing we really know at this point is that no one knows who it will end up being. My money would be that Gardenhire eventually choose Rauch to be his man just because he has the most experience and performed admirably last time he was closing (2.98 ERA 1.01 WHIP 17 SV for the Nationals in 2008). Closing in what will assuredly be a hotly contested AL Central is going to be a much different beast than closing for the low-pressure/low-expectation Nationals though.

Many publications had the ChiSox finishing second in the division but I just don't see it that way at all. Gordon Beckham was great last year and is an emerging star, but Alexei Ramirez was exceptionally inconsistent and spent most of the season in Ozzie's doghouse, Alex Rios was mediocre, Bobby Jenks is on the downslope of his career and won't finish the season as the closer and their lineup and pitching staff are just generally "blah". Lots of people are raving about Jake Peavy but let's have a quick sanity check people:

It was only three starts and they were against the Royals (1x) and a debatably-sober Tigers team (2x).
He is moving out of the NL into the Real Man's League and out of the vast confines of PETCO (dead last in park factor in 2009) into the much more snug U.S. Cellular (9th overall PF). Linky
People also seem to forget that Peavy doesn't even really want to play for the ChiSox. Ken Williams tried to trade for him multiple times midway through the 09 season and Peavy himself personally nixed the deal that was approved by both the Padres and ChiSox. Only after it became clear that no other team cared at all about the injury-plagued starter did Peavy finally reluctantly agree to waive his no-trade clause and go to the south side of Chicago.

... so shut the fuck up ChiSox fans/analysts. I am going to laugh at everyone when the White Sox finish 7+ games out of first.

I am unsure how exactly the Nathan injury will affect the final 2010 division standings, but one thing is definitely clear: the Tigers are a whole lot closer without the Twins closer (pun definitely intended).

Aside from injuries, most of the buzz coming out of spring training is about Braves RF Jason Heyward (who looks amazing and blasted one against the Tigers) and Stephen Strasburg. The Tigers got "lucky" enough to face both of these potential perennial All Stars on successive days and it appeared as though both deserve every bit of the hype. Heyward's performance in spring training is going to force the Braves to start him in RF Opening Day in Bobby Cox's last year with the team, but the Nationals are being more cautious with Strasburg (rightly so) and it seems unlikely that he will be called up before midway through the season. Other buzz around the league includes Marlins OF prospect Mike Stanton possibly making the Opening Day roster (helped by Maybin's injury), the continued drama of Dodgers owner Frank McCourt's messy, messy divorce, Giants SP prospect Madison Bumgarner getting blown the fuck up and Mauer's contract talks with the Twins (which is total non-news, he is re-signing with Minnesota guaransheed).

Only 24 days until Opening Day!

The Lions Are Possibly Doing Something Right...?

2010-03-10T21:06:00.003-05:00

With the signings of Vanden Bosch (4 years/$26 million) and Burleson (5 years/$25 million) in addition to the trade for Corey Williams for a mere 5th round pick I think that the Lions have, in a shocking turn of events compared to the past, actually improved their team so far this offseason. We probably slightly overpaid for both Vanden Bosch and Burleson, but a team that has won a grand total of 2 games the last season needs to pay a bit extra in order to attract decent free agents so I have no problem with the money given to either of these guys.

I think Burleson has an especially good chance of making a big contribution to the team in 2011 and beyond. Burleson has always been intriguing skills-wise and has a 1000-yard receiving season under his belt, his problem has just always been consistency and health (missed 18 games in 08/09). I think he has a chance to really thrive on the opposite side of Calvin.

Vanden Bosch fills a huge hole for the team at DE and will hopefully also thrive once he gets back into Schwartz's defensive scheme that he is so familiar with from his days in Tennessee. The rebuilding project is in full swing in Detroit and Vanden Bosch should serve as a solid transition player for a few years. With Vanden Bosch, Corey Williams and with either Suh or Gerald McCoy from the draft, the 2010 Lions D-line is going to look waaay different than last year. Hopefully it will play way differently too.

Johnny Just Wants To Be Loved

2010-02-25T21:09:00.005-05:00

After signing a ho-hum 1 year/$8 million deal with the Tigers, Mr. Damon apparently has a giant boner for the organization that saved him from complete embarrassment after his agent hilariously botched the negotiations with the Yankees. I find it really, really awesome that the Yankees were willing to say "Fuck you, we're signing Randy Winn. Ha! Take that bitch!"

Boras screwing the pooch is the Tigers' gain though. We managed to pull a solid #2 hitter (.365 OBP last year), a left-handed bat to break up the righty-dominated lineup and a reliable left-fielder who is solid defensively and should play pretty much every day. Granted he has an overcooked piece of macaroni for a left arm, but it's better than Guillen on two bum knees manning left... right? There's no way he is going to hit 24 HR again this year - I'd personally be pretty darn happy with 16-18 - and his SB total dropped pretty sharply to 12 last year after averaging 27.3 SB/year since 1996. But color me intrigued that Damon has a career .363/.550/.961 line at CoPa in a respectable sample size. Damon is no spring chicken, for sure, but provides nice value and comes with no risk since it is only a one year contract. The Tigers are just plain a better team with him in the lineup. Now I can only hope that he'll grow out his hair to pre-Yankee length...

I don't understand why he is going out of his way to act so enthused to be a part of the organization though. You want to finish your career in Detroit? Umm, you realize you signed just a one-year contract right? If you had been smart you would have signed for cheaper than the $13 million you originally wanted from the Yankees, finished your career in New York and made it into the HOF. Now you are part of a significantly weaker offense in a less hitter-friendly park, calling into question whether in these last few years you have left you can hit the statistical milestones you need to to make it into the HOF. Maybe Johnny will be able to rack up the doubles at CoPa, but it's not looking good. You need to fire that assclown Boras dude.

2009 Sucked

2010-02-05T15:43:00.007-05:00

I like to save my yearly retrospectives for February - January is too soon, I need a month to digest what happend in the previous year. So as I look back on 2009, it has become apparent to me that I just suffered through a terrible, terrible year. I am glad that godforsaken trip around the sun is over. To start off, the Lions went 2-14. On the bright side, I suppose that is infinity percent more games than they won last year; if they keep up that pace next year I think they'd set some type of record for number of games won in a season. I remain skeptical, but at least Barry thinks we can turn it around. I feel half like an idiot and half like a glutton for punishment for admitting what I am about to type, but I was actually mildly encouraged by what I saw last season. Stafford and Pettigrew were not the picks I would have made at the one and twenty slots, respectively, but both played fairly well, all things considered, before having their seasons ended by injuries. Some members of the peanut gallery questioned the severity of these injuries but it was without a doubt the correct decision to protect these young players since the team had nothing to play for anyway. Unfortunately, QBs not named Peyton Manning tend to have a regression in year two since the league now has so much extra film on him and it generally takes a few years for a QB to fully acclimate to the NFL (see: Ryan, Matt), so I think were are in store for another long 2010 season. I feel so dirty that this organization has reached the point that I am thinking "well, hopefully we can wins 9 games in 2011". Ugh. 2009 second round pick Louis Delmas really emerged as well this season and I think Kevin Smith is a solid RB but the O-line is still so terrible that he is regularly swallowed up in the backfield before he can do much.

I can't believe I think the Lions might be decent in a couple years. I am so fucking dumb.

My other football team, U of M, went 5-7, finished second to last in the Big 10 and missed a bowl game for the second straight year. I am much less concerned about Michigan football, however. Despite what a lot of snobby asshole alumni think, RichRod is a good coach, the team played significantly better this year and they are going to have a good season next year. Guaransheed. Forcier was even in the Heisman discussion midway through the season, although anyone who thought he had a shot to win it was certifiably insane... but it shows how well he was playing for a significant stretch of time. The only significant players we are losing to the draft are Brandon Graham (who is going to be absolutely awesome in the NFL FYI) and Donovan Warren. I suppose you can throw Zoltan, Brandon Minor and Carlos Brown in that discussion as well, but I am much less concerned about replacing those guys. Plus, RichRod managed to pull a top-20 recruiting class according to Rivals.com (although that's a discussion for another post). The future is bright for Michigan football.

The most heartbreaking season was the anal assault administered by the Tigers though. How do you spend 146 days in first place in the division and not make the playoffs? How do you become the first team in MLB history to lose a 3.0 game lead with 4 to play? *puke* Way too much of the blame was heaped on Miggy's shoulders however. Does it hurt when your anchor in the lineup goes 0/11 with 1 BB in the final series of the season? Sure. Should he have been out drinking at 4am the night before the final game of the season that we needed to win? No. There were so many other problems with the team though that it is unfair to point at Miggy and say "THERE is the problem". Edwin Jackson got blown up to the tune of 8 ER in 5 IP in game 1 of the final series against the ChiSox. Then in game 2 we trot out - wait a second lemme check the score card - Alfredo Figaro...? What. The. Fuck. Granderson forgot how to take a decent route to catch a fly ball, couldn't hit a lefty if he threw a beach ball and couldn't get on base. There was a giant black hole of no offense in the lineup in the form of whoever was playing SS that day and Laird. Magglio is just old and overpaid. As is often the case in baseball, the regression of playing ability hits quickly and there's no coming back from it.

They couldn't even just get blown out in the tie-breaking 163rd game of the year like respectable people. Noooo. Instead they have to lose in a nail-biting 12 inning slugfest just to make it all the more horrible when Alexi Casilla singles off Rodney to score Carlos Gomez to end the Tigers' season. We even had runners on first and third with no outs in the top of the 9th and can't score. Aaargh.

I'm not a hockey fan but didn't the Red Wings lose in Game 7 of the Finals at home or something too? How the hell does that happen? What a great year for Detroit sports.

Fuck 2009.

Verlander Has Been Extended

2010-02-04T16:57:00.006-05:00

I'm sure Verlander's girlfriend enjoyed the extension

Verlander got paid. A lot... and deservedly so. He is only 26 years old and, after a tumultuous 2008 season, bounced back in 2009 to lead the league in innings pitched and compiled 269 Ks with a 3.45 ERA. Also, as Buster Olney points out, he is one of the best finishers in the league. This deal was a no-brainer and I am glad it gone done this early. Now go win a couple Cy Youngs and go into the Hall of Fame as a Tiger, Verlander!

Pitt to B10?

2010-02-02T11:46:00.008-05:00

Blogs and message boards all around the internet were in a tizzy yesterday due to a report that it is basically a done deal that Pitt will be the 12th member of the Big Ten, possibly to be announced by the end of the week. Any report citing an unnamed source needs to be taken with a grain of salt, of course, and the Chicago-Tribune has even already released a conflicting report so the chances of this actually happening seem extremely diminished. If Ben Maller's "little birdy" really was just a couple Pitt football players tweeting (why the fuck is "tweeting" not capitalized BTW? Twitter is a proper noun but the act of Twittering isn't?) about some random meeting then that is fine investigative work there dude. *makes slow wanking gesture*

Huge tangent: can you imagine if they had Twitter in the 1920s? Ninety percent of professional athletes were drunk by noon, pounding every piece of kitty they could get their hands on and hated minorities. Scoops Callahan would have eaten that shit up. God damn that would have been amazing. I would pay $10 if someone would go back in time and give Ty Cobb access to Twitter.

So even though this internet rumor has fizzled faster than Agent Zero's career, I'll just go ahead and still speculate.

Mmm, mustache

The overall e-opinion on this move seemed to be fairly positive, but I remain relatively unconvinced. The main benefit would be that it would allow the B10 to realign into conferences and then have a conference championship game, which would be pure, unadulterated, nut-crunching awesomeness. I am sick of B10 teams being done a month before every other conference, plus a CCG would bring extra revenue for the conference and added excitement. Also, Pitt has very competitive football and basketball programs, fits well within the B10 geographically-speaking and is a good academic and research institution.

I don't think adding Pitt would be a terribly bad move, but there are also some negatives that aren't immediately apparent. The point to adding a 12th team would be to expand the conference - in every sense of the word. Pitt fails to do this. Pitt already falls into a TV market carried, some might say dominated, already by PSU. Adding Pitt doesn't get anyone new watching the Big Ten Network or really generate much extra excitement for games beyond the revival of the Pitt/PSU rivalry that died when PSU joined the B10 in 1990. The B10 needs to either expand westward or, ideally, tap into the huge East Coast market. I don't know if there is a perfect fit out there right now, but Rutgers comes fairly close. Their football program has been a respectable-but-not-amazing 25-14 (finishing 5th once and 4th twice in the Big East) since their breakout 2006 campaign, so they should be competitive in the conference. Plus, adding Rutgers would allow the B10 to seize the New Jersey/New York market that is largely devoid of competitive collegiate football. I think the fan turn out to an @Rutgers game would be huge for OSU or U of M since both colleges have so many graduates in the area.

Names being tossed around for the 12th spot in the conference include Mizzou, Iowa State and Nebraska, among others. I even read one rumor that Texas was being considered, but that is 100% ridiculous and would never, ever happen so I'll just ignore that one even if it would be amazing. I feel that Pitt and Rutgers are clearly the best two options and it seems as though conference expansion is less of an if and more of a when with every passing month so my money would be on one of those two schools.

Aaand We're Back!

2010-01-27T17:16:00.012-05:00

After a long layoff, we are tantalizingly close to the baseball season again. Sort of. Pitchers and catchers report to spring training in three weeks - that's close enough... right? Well, that's close enough to do a pre-spring training Tigers preview I suppose.

Goodbye sweet prince... No, not you T.J. Duckett, get the fuck out of here.

The biggest move, by far, this offseason was the trade that sent Granderson to the Yankees, Edwin Jackson to the Dbacks and Austin Jackson, Phil Coke, Max Scherzer and Daniel Schlereth back to the Tigers. Granderson was, like many other Detroiters, one of my favorite players on the team and so it is unfortunate to see him go. That said, Granderson has some very real flaws in his game:

He can't hit LHPs and scouts don't seem to think that the problem is easily fixable. Last year he hit .183 off lefties, in 08 .259 and in 07 .160. Two of those years are, obviously, utterly abysmal. Poor pitch recognition seems to be the culprit. His .183 average against lefties last year caused his BA to plummet to .249 and he lost 78 points in OPS.
His OBP last year (.327) took a complete nosedive from the previous two years (.361 in 07 and .365 in 08). That's not good for a guy who is supposed to hit leadoff since the most important stat for a leadoff hitter is OBP. In fact, his .319 OBP as a leadoff hitter was second worst in the league to B.J. Upton... who eventually lost his leadoff job. Oops.
Defensively, he wasn't reading the ball off the bat very well last year. Although I think a lot of people will remember the awesome catch he made near the end of the 162nd game of the year in 09, he didn't react very well initially and only his plus speed saved him. Although this is just one example, there was a definite puzzling trend of him misplaying fly balls towards the end of the year.

What also needs to be mentioned is that Granderson is due to be paid $25.8 million over the next three years. Austin Jackson, on the other hand, is playing for the league minimum. Jackson will probably never develop the same power as Granderson, but he is projected to hit for a solid average with some speed (24 swipes in AAA in 2009), solid defense in CF and a good arm. Needless to say, there are going to be a lot of eyes on this kid (am I allowed to call 22 year olds "kid"? I'm only 24) this coming year and it will be fun to see him develop. His defense will earn him the starting CF spot opening day and hopefully his bat will catch up soon.

Granderson was miscast as the Tigers' leadoff hitter, although admittedly there weren't any other great alternatives for the team, which is why I kinda wonder if the Yankees really know what they're getting in this trade since they immediately announced to the media that he was their new leadoff hitter. Jeter had an amazing bounce back season last year - it's a real head-scratcher to me why they are in such a rush to push him out of that spot to insert a guy who just had an atrocious year in the one slot. Dombrowski clearly thinks that 2009 Granderson is the real Granderson (as opposed to 2008 Granderson) and wanted to cash in while he still could. I hope all the best for Curtis, but I feel sorry for him if he's still hitting sub-.190 off lefties midway through the season, the Yankees lose a few games in a row and the New York media decides to make Curtis the scapegoat. If there's one thing he has going for him next year however, it's that he loves to hit HRs to right field (25 of his 30 HR in 09) and so he should feast on that epically short right porch at the new Yankees Stadium. On an amusing side note, it appears as though Granderson will not be able to keep his number (28) because NYY manager Joe Girardi is planning on changing his own number to 28 this season since the Yankees are going for their 28th World Championship. Fucking Yankees.

As to the other parts of the trade, the Tigers picked up a decent left-handed setup arm in Phil Coke, a young SP I really like in Max Scherzer and a hard-throwing left-handed reliever in Schlereth. I have already read some people proclaiming Schlereth the possible "closer of the future" for the Tigers. I thought Ryan Perry was the "closer of the future"? Or is he the "Zumaya of the future" now?

In any case, I think that Scherzer is the real gem of these three; I am really excited to see what Rick Knapp can do with him. He posts big strikeout numbers (9.2 K/9IP last season) and doesn't have too many major league innings on his arm (226.1 career IP). Control is a an issue, but he should also benefit from moving from Chase Field to the wide-open confines of Comerica Park. He is expected to immediately jump into the rotation with Verlander and Porcello.

The other two members of the rotation are unclear at this moment; the names Miner, Galarraga, Bonderman, Robertson and even Dontrelle Willis are all being bounced around. Can we please stop talking about Willis? I'm sure he's a nice kid (am I allowed to call people older than me "kid"?) and everything, but the guy is done-zo. Stick a fork in him. It would be a pleasant surprise to see Bonderman and Galarraga have bounce back seasons since I believe we can also say with a good amount of confidence that we know who Miner and Robertson are by this point in their careers too. They're shitty middle relievers. There, I said it.

Other than the final two spots in the rotation, the only other spot that really needs to be nailed down is LF since the organization seems to be all-in supporting Scott Sizemore as Polanco's replacement at 2B and Magglio - with his ginormous contract - unfortunately didn't die this offseason. I am personally kinda pulling for Wilkin Ramirez to win the LF job just because I like his power/speed combo and Raburn and Thomas rub me the wrong way. I still can't believe Clete fucking Thomas was batting cleanup for the Tigers at one point last season. Ugh.

See ya in Lakeland everyone!

Welcome Back Carlos

2009-07-24T14:45:00.005-04:00

The Tigers went into the first game of their doubleheader against the division rival White Sox in a battle for first place in the Central. The two teams couldn't have come into the series going in any more different directions. The ChiSox had won 5 of their last 7 and were fresh off Mark Buehrle throwing the 18th perfect game in MLB history against Tampa Bay, one of the top offenses in the league (3rd in the AL in runs scored with 501). The Tigers, on the other hand, are 1-5 since the All Star break and have only scored a single run in 4 of their last 5 games. Offensive struggles are nothing new for the Tigers this year - they have been maddeningly inconsistent, showing both excellence and frustrating droughts at various points in the year. This has manifested itself in the team scoring 4.67 runs per game, slightly below the league average of 4.78.

Enough of the bad though, because after this game there's a completely different buzz and I am looking forward to the Tigers wrecking that fatass Bartolo Colon (who some would be shocked to know was at one point traded for Cliff Lee, Grady Sizemore and Brandon Philips) in the second game of the doubleheader later today. Umm, knock on wood... or something. The feeling around the city was that the Tigers were perhaps on the cusp of a free fall, but Verlander came in and did exactly what the team ace is supposed to do - he pitched an excellent complete game, surrendering only 1 run on 6 hits and 4 walks. JV wasn't totally dominant, wracking up only 4 strikeouts, and got into trouble at some points (including a bases loaded, no outs jam in the top of the 9th from which he escaped unscathed) but he was good enough to take sole possession of first place in the Central... for a few hours at least.

Verlander himself admitted in the post-game interview that he got out of rhythm in the early innings, before mostly cruising through the mid-to-late innings until the scary 9th. He was clearly amped up and I'm sure he could feel the pressure of pitching with first place on the line the day after a ChiSox pitcher threw a perfect game. Although it may have been a little bumpy at times, the finals numbers and, more importantly, the win, look pretty damn nice right now.

Oh yeah, and some dude named Carlos Guillen was activated today and went 1/4 while DHing. The one single came off a shattered bat and barely made it through the infield, his shoulder is still too sore to bat from the right side and at one point he appeared to misread the signs coming in from the dugout, so color me unimpressed. I hope he does well, but my hopes just aren't very high at the moment. Unfortunately, news has also hit the web that the biggest bat available on the market, Matt Holliday, has been officially dealt to the Cards for Brett Wallace and two other minor leaguers. Good for my fantasy team, I guess, but I wanted him on the Tigers. Dombrowski never really seemed to have the team in the Holliday hunt, so this is not unexpected however.

HAHA Suck It Twins

2009-07-21T17:10:00.005-04:00

He's... umm... out?

As the AL Central race heats up a bit (White Sox 1 GB/Twins 2.5 GB) the Twins suffered an embarrassing defeat last night, allowing the Athletics to rally from a 10 run deficit to win 14-13 behind Matt Holliday's 2 blasts, including a game-tying grand slam in the seventh. Even though Mourneau, Holliday and Jason Kubel combined for 17 RBI in this ridiculous slugfest (39 hits to only 7 strikeouts between the two teams), the story of the night was a blatant botched call at home plate to end the game instead of tying it in the top of the ninth. Actually, perhaps the call wasn't botched, but rather Michael Wuertz's tag is so devastating that it travels both through space and time, thus explaining how Cuddyer was out despite the fact that approximately 50% of his body had touched the plate by the time Wuertz appeared to lay his tag down.

The take home message from this game is not that baseball needs replay, but rather that God hates the Twins because they are perenially the most boring team in the league.

I Am Going to Freak Out

2009-07-21T14:31:00.003-04:00

Some people seem to believe that the Tigers don't need to make a move prior to the passing of the trade deadline in 10 days... because Carlos Guillen is coming back. Don't get me wrong, I like Carlos, but this Tigers team has serious offensive issues and Carlos is coming off a relatively pedestrian .286/.376/.436 line with 10 HR and 54 RBI in 420 AB last year. I really doubt how much of an impact that his return will make. In fact, the guy who Carlos would be taking playing time from has already matched Guillen's HR total from last year in 1/3rd the ABs and his only hitting 9 points below Guillen's 2008 season total.

Where exactly is this offensive explosion supposed to come from again?

"But he made the All Star game last year!" people cry. So? The All Star selection process is a joke - the fact that you played in the All Star game last year means absolutely nothing to me. For fucks sake, Tim fucking Wakefield made the All Star game this year and guys who actually deserved it such as Mark Reynolds, Miggy and *shudder* Chone Figgins get blackballed.

Also, Guillen is 33 and there is no guarantee at all that he stays healthy and contributes to the team for the entire rest of the year. Although DHing will certainly help, Guillen has never been the healthiest player - he has only played 150+ games in a season twice in his career - and so I just don't "get" gambling the team's playoff hopes on an old, injury-risk type player who isn't even coming off a good year. The Tigers are probably good enough (or the rest of the division is terrible enough, depending on your outlook) to reach the postseason without acquiring another player, but I just really feel that we need one more bat to ignite the offense. *cough*MattHolliday*cough*

Although Holliday's first season away from the snug confines of Coors Field hasn't gone well, he has been positively on fire since after the All Star break - batting .400 with 3 HR, 10 RBI and 2 SB in 5 games. Small sample size? Sure. Slight overreaction on my part? You betcha. Although guys don't always immediately produce for their new team when traded (I am looking at you, Mark DeRosa, and your .105 BA + 2 weeks on the DL since going to the Cards), Holliday is exactly the kind of hot bat the Tigers need to blow them out of their general malaise. Holliday's skills are legit and he is not as bad as his numbers in Oakland make him out to be - time to go get him Dombrowski. Magglio has been reduced to a platoon with Clete Thomas, Miggy has been good but not what everyone was expecting, Granderson is on pace for a 30/30 season and made the All Star team but is batting a painful-to-see .254 (22 points below his career average), the offensive production from the SS position has been anemic, etc. I feel that just standing pat on the season would be a mistake and that something needs to be done.

Pistons Sign Ugliest Man in the World

2009-07-02T00:04:00.003-04:00

The Pistons have made quite the splash this offseason, signing former college teammates Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueava.

Holy Jesus, shield your eyes.

Undoubtedly, these are two good players. However, these were not the signings I had in mind when Joe D. made the Billups-Iverson trade. Congratulations Joe, you know have a bench player and the ugliest player in the world. If you could now work on a coach and a player that could take the Pistons back to the NBA finals, I would appreciate it.

D-Train D-Railed

2009-06-23T17:24:00.002-04:00

As Dontrelle Willis goes on the DL for the second time with this mysterious "anxiety disorder" I cannot help to feel sadness for the embattled hurler. To have someone who at one point looked to have such a bright future - when he won 22 games and finished second in NL CY Young voting in 2005 - fall so far is just plain unfortunate. Not to say that he didn't deserve his demotion... err, I mean, "injury"... since, after all, he has allowed 18 free passes in his last 11.0 IP. In fact, barring his one excellent start against the Rangers (6.1 IP 1 H 0 ER 2 BB 5 K), Dontrelle posted an ugly, ugly 0-4 9.22 ERA 12:26 K:BB in his 6 other starts.

Although Dontrelle's meltdown was slightly less dramatic than Ankiel's (see: top of the 3rd, Game 1 2000 NLDS) it has been no less devastating. Dontrelle is, simply put, laboring to throw strikes at the moment. It doesn't appear to be a physical problem, but rather all mental, and I doubt there is any chance that a second DL stint is going to magically fix anything that the first could not. It appears that the D-Train is officially done. Stick a fork in him. I hope he can learn to play the outfield as well as Ankiel, because Dontrelle's future as a MLB pitcher looks grim, to say the least. Oddly enough, Dontrelle does have some precedent for offensive production - he is only the third player in MLB history to record 20 wins and 20 hits in the same season. It was always sorta of a running joke that Dontrelle was a great hitting pitcher (didn't he bat 6th one game for the Marlins?) but now he might need to polish that swing a little more if he ever hopes to see a major league field from anywhere but the stands again.

Do It Dombrowski. Do It.

2009-06-21T12:47:00.005-04:00

Although the Tigers are solidly in first place in the division (Twins 3.0 GB), the team really needs an addition before the trade deadline rolls around on July 31st to ensure not just a playoff berth, but that the team is equipped to do some serious damage in the playoffs. That addition? Matt Holliday.

I want this man and his ridiculous block head in a Tigers uniform.

Magglio's general ineffectiveness so far this season - batting .273 with only 2 HR and slugging an abysmal .343 - is going to force the Tigers to pick up another bat unless he turns things around quickly... and it's tough to turn things around when you're benched indefinitely. It's hard to say about a guy who just two years ago had one of the greatest seasons in team history, but Maggz looks lethargic at the plate and slow and tentative in right field. Maybe the benching clears Magglio's head and he returns revitalized and starts mashing again... but maybe he doesn't and if the Tigers want to land the biggest bat rumored to be available on the market, then they need to do it relatively soon.

Another benefit I see to adding Holliday to the roster is that he would provide enough of an offensive boost to take some pressure off of Magglio to produce and thus allow Maggz to come back around at his own pace. Although the young guys have been serviceable, rotating Don Kelly, Clete Thomas, Ryan Raburn and Josh Anderson through the outfield certainly isn't the ideal situation. The Tigers offense was really scrambling for runs prior to the Milwaukee series and adding an impact offensive player like Matt Holliday who has power to the gaps (which is great in spacious CoPa), is more than capable of hitting .320+ (2006: .326 / 2007: .340 / 2008: .321) and has the potential to swipe 20 bags would really help the offense to start clicking on all cylinders.

There is some concern that Holliday's bloated offensive statistics were due to the Coors Field Effect because he has posted a relatively disappointing .273 BA .802 OPS 8 HR 39 RBI 8 SB line so far this year since being traded to Oakland. While some regression from his lofty numbers in Colorado was expected, the fact remains that Holliday is a legit player and I would not be terribly worried - going to three All Star games, winning three Silver Sluggers, finishing 2nd in MVP voting (2007) and consistently putting up the numbers he did in his five years with the Rockies is no fluke, hitters' ballpark or not. Also, his away splits from 2006, 2007 and 2008, his three best years in Colorado, show that he can hit everywhere - not just when he's a mile high. I would attribute his muted offensive production this year more to being strangled by the terrible Oakland offense (league-worst team OPS of .673) more than anything. Although many would look at his numbers this year and ask, "Why are we trading for this guy again?" I strongly believe that he is a better player than he has shown so far. Plus, he is sort of starting to get his bat going and is running more (4 SB in the last 4 games) which is a good sign.

The trade deadline initially looked like it was going to be very, very active this year, but injuries to players rumored to be on the move like Peavy, Bedard and San Diego's Chris Young have made it look like roster shuffling will end up being pretty minimal this year. This makes it all the more important to make an early move to acquire the biggest name out there - Holliday - since so much more focus will be on that one player. After Holliday the pickins become fairly slim, dropping off to Mark DeRosa-caliber guys being available.

The starting pitching and relievers have been money for the Tigers this season and the only aspect of the team that has been struggling a bit has been the offense (though it hasn't been "bad" - just struggling). Matt Holliday, with his power to the gaps and base stealing ability, fits in really well with the team and would put the Tigers over the top in the Central.

Interleague Play Begins

2009-05-23T16:41:00.005-04:00

Although the Detroit/Colorado "rivalry" doesn't quite have the sizzle it did in the 90s when the Red Wings and Avalanche were consistently at each others' throats, the Tigers and Rockies managed to put a pretty entertaining game together and - best of all - the Tigers got the win. Porcello had another very strong outing (6.0 IP 1 ER 6 H 2 BB 3 K) to win his fourth consecutive game. Leyland referred to him as "Nolan frickin Ryan" - high praise indeed for a 20 year old. The Nolan Ryan comparisons might be a tad bit hasty, but the fact remains that Porcello has been outstanding in May, going 3-0 and allowing only 3 runs in 3 starts. The future looks very, very bright for the young hurler.

Colorado starter Ubaldo Jimenez also put forth a strong outing - 7.0 IP 3 ER 6 H 1 BB 7 K. Gerald Laird scored one of the runs with a very heads-up play by scoring from third on a wild pitch that did not get far away from the catcher at all. The other two runs were courtesy of a two run blast from Binge who continues to boggle my mind both by batting .279 and leading the team in home runs (12). I keep telling myself that Binge has to cool off eventually, but we're now 40 games into the season so it's not as though he's just pulling a 2006 Chris Shelton impression. Maaaybe this is legit?

The second game of the series pits Armando Galarraga against Jason Marquis, formely of the Cubbies. Galarraga has been brutal since his great start (last 4 games: 0-3 10.90 ERA 9:12 K:BB) and is very close to losing his spot in the rotation. Not many expected Armando to repeat his impressive performance from last year, but he certainly was not expected to be this bad. I hope he can find some way to right the ship because it would be very unfortunate for him to fall from grace in this manner. His struggles have been somewhat masked because almost everyone is talking about the D-Train's last start when he threw 6.1 innings of one hit, no run ball last Tuesday (5/19) to get his first win as a Tiger. This is way too early to say since it was only one good start (and he was very shaky in his first outing), but I'll do it anyway obviously... how amazing would it be for the Tigers if Willis returned to anywhere near his 2005 form? The Tigers already have one of the best performing rotations in baseball so far this season (fourth in the AL in team ERA @ 4.17) and to go from possibly being forced to cut a guy you owe $22 million to having a legit starting pitcher would be stunning. Keep the train rolling Dontrelle.

A Tale of Two Double Plays

2009-05-22T19:56:00.003-04:00

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

Actually for the Tigers this year it has, for the most part, been only the best of times. Everything just seems to be rolling the Tigers' way as they have now opened up a 3 game lead atop the AL Central. Minus the Royals, the rest of the Central seems to be collapsing as we approach a quarter of the way through the season. The Twins have lost 6 of the last 7, including a 4-game sweep at the hands of the rejuvenated Yankees. The ChiSox have only won 3 games so far in the month of May, endured a 20-1 shellacking last night and their infield minus Konerko has combined to hit a robust .222 - thanks Alexei Ramirez, Chris Getz and Josh Fields! And the Indians? Well, they're just terrible. It's like watching the guys from Major League prior to when they decided to become plucky and lovable by slowly undressing a cardboard cutout of Rachel Phelps. The real world 2009 Cleveland team could really, really use a montage right about now. It's still early in the year, but I like Detroit's chances to win the Central - and they'll need to to make the playoffs since the wild card will almost assuredly be coming from the East this year.

Although resurrected-from-the-dead starter Edwin Jackson needed a staggering 132 pitches to do it, the Tigers completed their sweep and season-long dominance of the Rangers on Thursday. Count me among the Tigers fanbase watching the game pulling their hair out and yelling at the TV for Leyland to give Jackson the hook in the 8th after he walked the first batter of the inning... and then after he gave up a towering, near-homer double to Hammerin' Hank Blalock... and then after Cruz blasted a two run double to tie the game... and then after he walked the pathetically floundering Chris Davis (currently in the midst of an 0/16 slump)... but Leyland made it work and his faith in Jackson paid off after Miggy hit a bloop single to center to score what ended up being the game winning run. To be fair, Jackson was still throwing very hard in the 8th (he reached 97 several times) but he was clearly laboring and I can't help but feel that Leyland's over zealousness to show faith in his pitching staff is going to bite the team in the ass eventually. But we won, so who's complaining?

The real story beyond Jackson's somewhat-shaky, but decent outing (8.0 IP 3 ER 7 H 5 BB 7 K) was two key double plays in the game and the overall much-improved defense the Tigers are displaying this year, however. In the second inning Clete Thomas caught a ball in medium-depth right field and then gunned the runner at home for the outfield assist and inning ending double play to save a run. Then in the top of the 9th with the Tigers leading 3-2, Rodney got himself into trouble with runners on first and third with one out, but got the incredibly underrated Michael Young to ground into a game-ending double play. Rodney is now a perfect 8 for 8 in save chances so far this year. Rodney tends to dick around when he is not pitching in a save opportunity, but he certainly brings the intensity when he needs to.

Much of the success of the pitching staff this year can be attributed to the improved defense across the board. Inge has been positively electric at third (and just hit his team-leading 12th dong of the year), Miggy has done a much better job at first this year and the Everett/Santiago timeshare at short has been gobbling up ground balls.

In fact, the only real negatives this season have been Armando's regression after a hot start (it's rumored that when Bonderman returns that Galarraga and not D-Train would be the odd man out in the rotation, barring a great start on Saturday) and Magglio showing his age (.256 2 HR 17 RBI). Miggy has fallen 7 HR off the AL-leading pace (15, Carlos Pena) but when a guy's hitting .381 that's "probably" just quibbling.

95.0

2009-05-01T22:55:00.003-04:00

Since 1980, the Lions have drafted 12 quarterbacks (Stafford is 13). The highest QB rating any of them has had with the Lions is 95.0. Unfortunately, this QB is Drew Stanton, who has played a total of three games with the Lions. The other QBs and their stats with the Lions:

1980 - Eric Hipple (Utah State) 102 games - 68.7
1982 - Mike Machurek (Idaho State) 4 games - 8.3
1984 - John Witkowski (Columbia) 5 games - 58.0
1986 - Chuck Long (Iowa) 23 games - 64.8
1988 - Danny McCoin (Cincinnati) 0 games
1989 - Rodney Peete (USC) 47 games - 72.9
1990 - Andre Ware (Houston) 14 games - 63.5
1998 - Charlie Batch (Eastern Michigan) 48 games - 76.9
2001 - Mike McMahon (Rutgers) 20 games - 55.0
2002 - Joey Harrington (Oregon) 58 games - 68.1
2005 - Dan Orlovsky (Connecticut) 12 games - 71.3
2007 - Drew Stanton (Michigan State) 3 games - 95.0

What do all these quarterbacks have in common? A few have had decent NFL careers. None have been the answer for the Lions at quarterback. I have not researched other teams draft picks since 1980 (that would be a lot of work), but I doubt few, if any, teams have come anywhere near this level of futility over the past 30 years. So excuse me if I don't have high hopes for Stafford. Tamales.

Nice Job Assholes

2009-04-24T18:54:00.004-04:00

Four errors?

What. The. Fuck.

I think it's time to bust out the "Edwin Jackson is disappointed in you" pic again:

Then again, Edwin walked two guys with the bases loaded (Gary Matthews Jr. and fucking Jeff Mathis) so it's not like he's an innocent victim here. The lone bright spot this series has to be Gramsterdam, who hit three dongs during the series. Still though, it's hard to feel good or find much positive into dropping 2 of 3 to a team that has six pitchers on the DL and started Matt Palmer against you... and got the win. Ugh.

Pleasepleasepleaseplease

2009-04-24T15:26:00.005-04:00

Lions GM Martin Mayhew has already stated numerous times that he wants the deal with the first overall pick done before the draft tomorrow and luckily for those of us who do not feel that Stafford is the answer to Detroit's woes, a deal with Stafford remains unfinished as of Friday afternoon. To be honest, all signs seem to point towards Stafford still being the first overall pick in the 2009 draft - even Curry thinks he will be - but it's still a glimmer of hope.

It's not that I feel as though Stafford is a "bad" player, it's just that he is maddeningly inconsistent and wasn't as productive as I feel he should have been in college with the ridiculous amount of talent around him. Plus, if you whiff on your high first round QB pick, you get the Alex Smith-effect and your franchise is killed for a minimum of three years. I see the upside in Stafford (and, admittedly, it is tremendous), but I just don't agree with taking a very risky player at an already risky draft position for a franchise that needs anything but more risk at the moment.

Another thing that not many people seem to be talking about is the fact that next year's QB draft class projects to be very strong. Trying to guess how college players will perform in the upcoming season in April can be a dangerous prospect, but no matter how well the Lions draft this year they will, most likely, still be pretty bad this upcoming season and get another high draft pick. Then if you're not sold on Stafford at first overall, it's pretty enticing when you see names like Sam Bradford and Colt McCoy entering the NFL next year. The Lions have so many gaping holes that they really just need to take the best player available right now and build for the future.

In Miami, The Tuna took the Best Player Available in last year's draft (OT Jake Long) and relied on a vet as a stop-gap at QB while grooming Henne as heir apparent. Culpepper seems motivated enough to be passable while the team searches for its real franchise QB of the future.

If negotiations fall through with Stafford, reportedly a deal is already in place with Curry. How does a Julian Peterson, Ernie Sims and Aaron Curry linebacking core sound? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Although I have been a proponent of taking Jason Smith first overall for a while, the OT class this year is so ridiculously deep that the Lions could easily still get a quality left tackle with the 20th pick in the draft.

No matter what happens, the day before the NFL draft is an exciting time. Between rumors flying (Patriots want to trade into the top 10, the Cards' asking price for Boldin has gone down, Andre Smith and Mark Sanchez draft stock soaring, etc.) and the uncertainty of who is going where... it is a good time to be an NFL fan.

Edit:

I was just watching NFL Live and Cris Carter suggested that the Lions take Sanchez first overall and then trade up from 20 and take Andre Smith. Whatever you do Mayhew... don't do that.

Series Roundup: Mariners

2009-04-20T01:13:00.006-04:00

The Tigers finished their 3 game trip to the land of rain and lattes pretty successfully, taking 2 games away from the reinvigorated and AL West-leading M's. The Tigers roster is really starting to round out and they should be in contention for the AL Central all year. Ramon Santiago has been the surprise of the year for the Tigers with 11 RBI, good for second best on the team behind Miggy. Santiago played every game in the Seattle series because Everett was out with the flu (hey Everett, you pussy, Edwin played fine with the flu) and now there are rumblings that Ramon has earned himself extra playing time, perhaps even taking over the majority of the timeshare. Everett is as solid as they come defensively at short, but he can't hit for shit, and Ramon is no slouch defensively as well - so I say bring on the dude batting .320 with 11 RBI and 1 HR. In addition, Ramon fits better into Leyland's new found aggressive/speed approach (11 SB across all levels in '07). Leyland is running his players much more than normal and I love it. The aggressiveness on the base paths is manufacturing more runs... plus I get to see Miggy stealing bases and suicide squeezes, which provides me with much entertainment. The shocked reaction from Pierzynski when Miggy took off for second from first brings a smile to my face even now days later. Who knew the big man could move?

Take out one bad inning and the Tigers may have even swept the M's in their own ballpark.

Let's try to focus on the (many) positives from this series though:

Although Verlander's stat line may not look all that great in the end (7.1 IP 8 H 5 ER 1 BB), it is very reassuring to see him strike out eight while walking only one. Based off his last two starts, it looks like he is very, very close to taking a step forward from his '07 campaign and becoming the guy whose talent dictates him being a top-10 pitcher in the AL.

Edwin Jackson might actually be for real? After Saturday's start he is the owner of a brand-spanking-new ERA of 2.14 and a 13:5 K:BB ratio. If only Brandon Lyon wasn't a bum, Edwin would have two wins early in this season instead of one. And what is the player we gave up for Edwin up to? He's in AAA. I'm not by any means saying that Joyce is, or will be, a bust... but Dombrowski is looking pretty good right now.

Porcello looked downright dominant against the M's on Sunday. Dominant. Even as the youngest hurler on an already young staff at 20 (Verlander 26, Bondo 26, Jackson 25, Galarraga 27) he has shown a lot of poise and does not seem overwhelmed by the major leagues at all. The question is whether Bondo can come back completely healthy and effective and then whether this young pitching staff can keep its roll going. If so, then a perceived offseason weakness for the Tigers might actually end up being a strength.

The continuing success of Binge has me utterly befuddled. Peter Gammons was on Baseball Tonight early in the season discussing how Binge was a much better player offensively when he didn't have to worry about catching since it took such a physical toll on his body. At the time I just sort of laughed it off, but maybe he was onto something. There is no way he can sustain his current .289 BA and there will undoubtedly be some regression to the mean for this career .237 hitter, but enjoy it while your bat is hot Binge.

No more Zach Miner starts! Thank you Jeebus, Allah, The Flying Spaghetti Monster and any other deity I may have forgotten.

The upcoming series with the surprisingly bad Angels should be interesting just because the Halos are incredibly dinged up with Vlad, Kelvim Escobar, Ervin Santana, John Lackey and Dustin Moseley all on the DL (plus the passing of Adenhart, obviously). It's like an entire team of Chris Carpenters. With scheduled starts against Jered Weaver (who looks eerily similar to one-time favored son of the Tigers and brother, Jeff), flyball specialist Joe Saunders and some other dude, Miggy and crew have the potential to put a massive hurting on the Halos.

The Tigers are currently in a 3-way tie with the White Sox and Royals for the AL Central lead and I pretty much see the Central being extremely tight all year. The White Sox will likely fall off the pace, but I feel that this division will be the most competitive in baseball this year (with the possible exception of the Fish, Braves, Phillies and Mets battling all year in the NL East).

If I put the over/under on Greinke winning a Cy Young at 2.5 years (including this year), would anyone want to take the over? This guy is looking like a certified baller.

Michigan Spring Game Roundup

2009-04-13T12:44:00.009-04:00

Michigan held their annual spring game this past Saturday and here are some semi coherent thoughts about the experience.

The locker room tour line was insanely long. By the time we got to the stadium around 9 am, the line already stretched about halfway around the stadium from the Crisler parking lot to the corner of Main and Stadium. According to reports, about 15,000 people managed to see the locker room during the 2 hours it was open to the public. The first person in line showed up at 3:30 am. The reasons for this excitement to see a locker room are not apparent to me. The huge line was enough for us to say "No thanks" to the experience. It is something that would be interesting to check out but not worth waiting an hour or more in line to see. Some people were said to be crying. About seeing a locker room. Again, I don't get it.

The Walmart Wolverines were out in full force. There was quite a collection of missing teeth, bad hair, and Wolverines apparel straight out of the '90s. I guess a chance for free admission to Michigan Stadium to watch Michigan football was enough to get them to put down their Natural Lights and pull them from their trailer parks. I can't knock them too much because at least they are fans enough to support the team even after a historically bad year.

The alumni flag football game was somewhat entertaining. If a seemingly made up on the fly point system, Jim Brandstatter and Frank Beckman rambling to each other on the PA system, and teams mostly made up of former walk-ons sounds like a good time, then this game was for you. The big name participants were Rick Leach, Anthony Thomas, and Larry Foote. The rest of the teams were filled with guys you may remember: Ron Bellamy, Carl Diggs, Phil Brabbs. And a bunch of guys I had never heard of before. Rick Leach looked like he probably could have been a better quarterback than Sheridan or Threet last season, huge gut and all (ok that's a lie). Larry Foote, most likely risking a fine from the Steelers by playing, made a ridiculous one-handed interception that ended up being called back by a penalty. Ron Bellamy was by far the best player on the field and made several nice plays. The point system included 4 points for an interception and 10 points for an interception returned for touchdown. Brandstatter and Beckman, who apparently walked around for most of the game with his fly down, were interviewing various participants during the game but no one in the stands could hear them or really seemed to care. The Blue team won on this TD

and mostly people seemed happy that it was over. I was fine with the arbitrary point system and the general silliness of the event but I hope that next year they can build off of this year's buzz and get some bigger name alumni back.

As for the actual game that wasn't even a game. The team came out and warmed up like a real game and even ran out onto the field under the M Go Blue banner. A small version of the band was present along with the dance team. The team warmed up with rap music blaring and left the field to "Thunderstruck." People around me commented that Lloyd never would have allowed such blasphemy. I think that changes like this that Rich Rodriguez has brought are good things that show that this event is supposed to be fun.

The scrimmage started with 10 minutes of special teams that really did nothing to boost anyone's confidence. All 3 kickers looked terrible on field goals, Zoltan booted a few huge punts but also shanked one about 10 yards straight out of bounds, and Odoms dropped the only punt he fielded. Zoltan really shouldn't be a cause for concern and should be a top 3 punter in the nation. The field goal situation won't be sorted out until recruit Brendan Gibbons shows up this summer and Rich Rod even hinted that some other walk-ons this summer will get a shot. Rodriguez also said that pretty much every slot receiver will get a shot at returning punts along with some other freshman. Really this shouldn't be an issue by fall as one of the 8 or so players seems likely to be able to cleanly field punts.

After the special teams debacle, the real scrimmage began with a point system that tried to reward the defense but still heavily favored the offense if they put together a scoring drive. Most of the day consisted of the first teamers on each side against the second and third teams of the other side, although most players on the 2 deep got a chance with the first team. The point system had the offense winning with a number like 58-30. Here were the six main highlights for me:

1. Tate Forcier is pretty solid. Most of the reports after the game are going to gush about how great he was throwing 3 TDs and running for another while not throwing an interception. Outside of the fact that it was against the second team, the defense couldn't hit him and didn't blitz him much at all. So expectations of greatness need to be tempered.

I'm already very annoyed by the Tate fanboiz

With that said, he looked very sharp, missing only 2 or 3 passes and delivering very catchable accurate balls. He showed good decision making on several rollouts and options in terms of when to run. His quickness is good and he seems elusive but not amazingly fast. All things considered, he seems to have a good start heading into summer.

2. The offensive line looks improved. The inexperienced line of last year is nowhere to be found as offensive line appears to be a source of strength and depth this coming season. They opened up several nice holes, pass blocked well, and rarely seemed to miss a block. However when facing players like Dominique Ware, a 5'7" 250 pound walk-on defensive tackle, holes are expected to be opened. While Ware might resemble a fire hydrant, he is much easier to move than most DTs the team will see this year. I may support the Rodriguez's emphasis on recruiting fast midgets to make plays on offense, I do not support midget linemen. One of the most amusing sights of the day was seeing Ware next to 6'5" 330 pound freshman DT Will Campbell, ranking a close second behind 6'5" QB David Cone handing off to 5'6" RB Vincent Smith.

An example of a Cone-Smith handoff

3. Playmakers will emerge on offense this year. Last year's edition of the Wolverines severely lacked playmakers on offense. Carlos Brown busted an 82 yard TD run, Roy Roundtree caught 2 TDs including a 50ish yard strike from Forcier, and Vincent Smith and Kevin Grady both broke free for 25 yard TD runs. Darryl Stonum and Greg Mathews also made acrobatic catches. Highlights can be found here.

4. The defense looked not so good. Saturday was essentially a showcase for the offense and that was partly due to the defense. But this defense is breaking in the third coordinator in as many years and essentially played base defense the entire day. Not wanting to give anything away to future opponents, they didn't blitz much, couldn't really attack the quarterbacks, and seemed to know that they shouldn't try to hit too hard for fear of more injuries. They did show multiple base looks (3-4, 4-3, over, under) highlighting the changes brought by new coordinator Greg Robinson. Stevie Brown got the award for the senior with the most improvement during spring practice, continuing his legacy of being a Heisman caliber practice player. Thoughts were that he might finally put it together this year in this new hybrid safety/linebacker role. He promptly got juked by David Cone, who seems slightly faster than John Navarre, on the way to a 50 yard run. In all fairness to Brown, he couldn't hit Cone and didn't seem to consider him a running threat (and who can blame him). He gets a free pass for now.

5. The safety position is still a huge question mark. Troy Woolfolk was one of the starters at safety and he was moved there 4 or 5 practices ago. Not a good sign. Woolfolk is supposed to be one of the fastest guys on the team but the fact that a converted CB can move to a starting role in 4 practices over a physical specimen like Brandon Smith is not good. True Freshman Vlad Emilien is supposedly impressing in practice but got burned badly by Carlos Brown on his 82 yard TD run. This will be one of the most important positions this coming year.

6. The team, especially the defense, is pretty thin in terms of depth. The defense was essentially playing without 5 starters all day. CB Donovan Warren, DT Mike Martin, and LB Jones Mouton didn't dress, DE Ryan Van Bergen injured his knee early on during the scrimmage, and DE Brandon Graham barely played for fear of injury. This highlighted the lack of depth at almost every position on defense as the second team was full of walk-ons and freshmen. The defense will need to be abnormally injury free this year for any chance of success. The offense was in much better shape in terms of both injuries and depth. As mentioned the offensive line should be really deep, and there are plenty of WRs and RBs. QB depth is obviously lacking as the third team was led by a true freshman walk-on QB Jack Kennedy. Kennedy actually looked better than second teamer David Cone but will likely be the 5th stringer come fall once Denard Robinson shows up and Nick Sheridan recovers from this broken leg.

Random additional thoughts:

More highlights can be found here.

There were a ton of recruits present at the game and most seemed very positive toward Michigan afterwards. Michigan picked up another commitment for 2010 from a RB out of Texas named Stephen Hopkins giving them 8 verbals so far for 2010. Hopkins is a bigger back in the mold of Brandon Minor.

The stadium construction looks on schedule and it looks like most of the facade on the inside of the stadium will be in place by the start of next season.

A number of former Wolverines were on hand including LaMarr Woodley, Mike Hart, Desmond Howard, and Steve Breaston.

With one more spring practice left on Tuesday, look for comprehensive offense and defense reviews and wrapups of spring practice later this week.

Who Are You And What Have You Done With Fernando Rodney

2009-04-11T15:39:00.006-04:00

This afternoon Fernando came into a tight 4-3 game against the Rangers in the top of the 9th and pitched a perfect - and I mean perfect - inning to earn his first save (2.0 IP 3 K 0 ER 0 H 0 BB so far this season). Rodney got David Murphy to chase a ball outside the zone for his first put out and then just completely blew both Chris Davis and Salty away, topping out around 96 MPH, for a 3 up / 3 K inning. Has an alien stolen his body? Where is the Fernando Rodney that we all know and love that specializes in blowing games? Well, whoever you are you deserve some props for that performance.

WHO IS THIS MAN?!?

The pitching as a whole was just fantastic this afternoon. Everyone worried about Verlander (*raises hand*) can feel a whole lot better after his outing today (5.o IP 1 ER 8 K). Control is still a bit of an issue (4 BB) but Verlander was really blowing the Rangers hitters away and probably deserved the win, although he didn't get it. The inning that resulted in Verlander getting the hook wasn't even really his fault at all and it should have been over relatively quickly, but two errors (Binge, Everett) extended the inning, causing Verlander to throw extra pitches, and lead to two unearned runs. Without those two errors, the only offense Texas was able to muster was a solo shot from Hank Blalock and Verlander kept the potent Ranger offense completely in check the rest of the time. Ex-embattled starting pitcher and current middle reliever Nate Robertson ended up with the win and although I think Verlander probably deserved it, Robertson still pitched quite well, retiring all 6 batters he faced, so no biggie. Although it is well-documented that Robertson was very displeased when he first learned that he was being moved into the bullpen, I think it is becoming clearer that his ability and skillset is much better suited for a middle relief role. Sorry Nate, but this is just the way it is.

I also found it very interesting how much faith Leyland has in the young, hard-throwing Ryan Perry. Leyland brought him in to face the very hot Nelson Cruz and Jim's confidence was rewarded with a big out. This was now Perry's third appearance and although he has been a little up and down and his control still needs work, he has been very promising so far. Against Toronto he pitched a perfect inning. In his first work against the Rangers during the 15-2 shellacking on April 10th he smoked the first batter he faced, but then got a little wild and walked two guys before getting yanked. Then came in today and got Cruz out in a 1 run game. I know that Leyland probably wishes that his two young pitchers, Perry and Porcello, got more time in the minors getting polished before moving up, but the state of the Tigers' bullpen and starting rotation sort of forced his hand. Both have responded well so far however, showing maturity, great ability and a ton of promise.

On an amusing side note, Miggy was somehow voted the FSN player of the game despite going 0/4. Umm, his defense at first base was very solid I suppose (in fact, I have noticed that his defense is much improved from last year). I guess when it comes to anything that fans vote for, the heart wants what the heart wants. Sorry people that actually had a good game (Laird, Verlander, Rodney, Robertson and Polanco to name a few).

Other random musings:

Gerald Laird is a way better player than I knew prior to the season. He is handling the pitching staff quite well and his hitting very well as well (.389 BA on the season) while flashing some wheels - he has a double and a triple through 5 games and today also caught Josh Hamilton by surprise when he tagged up on a routine fly ball to center and managed to move up a base. I love how he has just been going out and hustling every day. You can tell he likes being "the guy" for the Tigers and no longer has to constantly worry about losing playing time to Salty and Taylor Teagarden like he had to in Texas. Good start to the season for him.

Although Nelson Cruz's line 2 games into the series against the Tigers is solid-but-not-eyepopping (2/8 1 HR 1 RBI 2 K 0 BB), this guy is a fantastic player. He has very real power, great defense out there in right field and an absolutle cannon for an arm. Cruz launched a laser from deep right on a Marcus Thames sac fly where Polanco was just tagging up from third and made the play much, much closer than it should have been. The future looks bright.

What the fuck is Chris Davis doing? He is an anemic 1/18 so far this season and has made a couple questionable defensive decisions. This is the same 2008 Rangers' Rookie of the Year, right? More importantly, you're killing my fantasy team Chris. Stop it. Asshole.

Miggy = Man's Man

2009-04-10T14:30:00.008-04:00

I know it isn't going out on a limb or anything because a lot of people are predicting this, but as I watch Miguel Cabrera blast a grand slam to left-center at CoPa during the home opener (7-0 Tigers currently wahooo) I can't help but feel that Miggy will win the Triple Crown this year. Perhaps even MVP. He was a respectable 9/32 with 2 HR during the WBC and just looked like he was going to mash. He is currently 10/14 with 3 HR and 8 RBI 4.5 games into the season. I don't think anyone can deny that he is going to have a monstrous year.

This is a man... and his bat.

This guy is going to be raping AL Central pitching for many, many years to come.

Update: Cabrera just missed his second HR of the day by about an inch. Oh well, add another 2 RBI to the score sheet. 14-1 Tigers. I know it's the Rangers and that roughing up Kris Benson, Warner Madrigal and Josh Rupe isn't the most impressive thing in the world, but honestly at this point I'm not sure if it matters all that much who is pitching to him - he's going to rake no matter what.

Brandon Lyon Is Now Edwin Jackson's BFF

2009-04-08T17:32:00.006-04:00

Brandon Lyon is in the process of continuing his further decline into mediocrity and seems determined to drag the Detroit pitching staff down with him after blowing Edwin Jackson's outstanding 7.1 IP 1 ER 4 K 2 H 1 BB gem in the second game of the season... twice. Seriously. In the bottom of the 8th Lyon served up a 3 run tater tot to Aaron Hill and then when Binge tied the game with a solo blast (does Binge only hit solo HRs? I honestly don't think I have ever seen him hit a non-solo HR) in the 9th, Lyon promptly returned to the mound in the bottom of the inning and gave the game away. What the hell happened to his pre-All Star break 2007 with the Dbacks? This guy's career has been buckling under pressure harder than Rihanna's face.

Edwin looks happy that his win was blown.

The optimist in me wants to focus on the excellent game Jackson pitched, but it's hard to have a whole lot of faith in a guy who last year had an ERA of 4.42, a downright frightening WHIP of 1.505 and was so highly thought of in Tampa Bay that they dropped him from the postseason roster. Now he's our second guy in the rotation. *smacks forehead*

At least Miggy has been looking good. He was 2/2 with 2 walks and a run scored yesterday. Umm... yay? Binge has knocked in two homers in two games (HOLY SHIT HE'S ON PACE FOR 162 HRs) but had a throwing error - and he's supposed to be there for his defense so we'll call it a wash.

Between Verlander getting hammered in the opener, Zumaya's injury maybe being even more serious that we thought, Bonderman starting the season on the DL, shady things going on with the D-Train, etc. there isn't much that seems to be going right early this season.

Maybe it's a little presumptuous of me to question a guy with 17 years of managerial experience, 3 Manager of the Year awards and a World Series championship, but I'll do it anyway (obviously). Don't get me wrong, I am not a Fernando Rodney supporter by any means (in fact, he sucks) but I just don't "get" why you bring a guy who has already blown a game once in the 8th back in the 9th to close it out. Trying to show confidence/belief/whatever in your players and trying to win games are sometimes the same thing and sometimes they aren't. This is a case where they weren't. Lyon and Rodney are both right-handers too so it's not as though there were some match up concerns with the Toronto lineup, unless something is escaping my notice. The Tigers get a shot at Jesse Litsch tonight however. Wait a second, Miner is pitching? FML.

In summation, even with the retirement of Todd Jones the Tigers' bullpen will... how should I say this... make things "exciting" throughout the year. In the meantime while Lyon tries to get his shit together, this is what Piper Palin thinks of you:

Suck it Lyon.

Well This Is Getting Ugly

2009-04-02T04:31:00.013-04:00

As the ridiculous drama that has become McJaygate ("CutDanielsgate" was already taken I guess) continues, things just got a whole lot dicier late Wednesday night.

“I was surprised they decided to trade me this soon,” Cutler said. “I didn’t want to get traded. This wasn’t me. They [The Broncos] had been going back and forth saying things, wanting me to be their quarterback and then they didn’t. I really didn’t want this. I love Denver. I really like my teammates. I didn’t want it to get this far.”

Woah. Where the hell did this come from? I don't think I have ever heard two sides as far apart as to what the truth is as these guys. Bowlen claims that "numerous" attempts to contact Cutler have been made both by him and McDaniels all to no avail. Cutler claims that no one has made any attempt at all to contact him. Pardon my French, but what the fuck is going on here?

Either Pat Bowlen is in the bizarro world from that Seinfeld episode and he thinks the word "numerous" means "fucking zero, zilch and nada"... or someone isn't telling the truth. Oh wait, I figured it out. They obviously must have Cutler's wrong phone number. Duuuh. I bet Cutler Salon's phones have been ringing off the hook and they can't figure out why because no one named Jay works there. Coincidentally someone named "Zay" works there and he is aaamaaazing with a pair of scissors and a blow dryer. Josh and Pat, use the Yellow Pages to avoid mistakes like this in the future. In fact, use your newfound tool (not these guys, the Yellow Pages) to call up Brian Dawkins, that 7x Pro Bowler who just signed with you, and tell him he just joined a team with the 30th ranked defense last year that is completely incapable of keeping a starting running back healthy, coached by a 32 year-old (AKA he's 3 years younger than you) first year guy that is now trading away its franchise QB. Just go ahead and kick Dawkins in the balls while you're at it.

Speaking of keeping RBs healthy... If I may be permitted to go off on a tangent here, you suits in the Denver front office realize that your RB core was so decimated by injuries last year that you had to resort to a guy who was third string in college, right? And then you go out and sign the "The Turtle" Lamont Jordan to a 2-year deal? What. The. Fuck. Good signing guys, it's been 5 years since Lamont has played a full season - he's obviously due. I wish there was an emoticon that rolled its eyes while making a fapping motion because that's what I need right now. To quote Comic Book Guy, there really is no "emote icon" for what I'm feeling.

Okay, back on track. To make matters even more of a clusterfuck, the Jets, Vikings, Bucs, Panthers, 49ers, Browns, Redskins, Bears, Titans and of course the Lions have all been at the very least rumored to have made inquiries about Cutler. The Titans, Jets and Browns can all be pretty much ruled out immediately because the Broncos have basically stated that they won't trade him to any AFC team (similar to the Brett Favre fiasco a year ago). It is rumored that the Browns may end up being an integral part of the deal however. A three team deal where the Broncos get either Quinn or DA, the Browns get picks and/or other compensation and the third team gets Cutler really keeps a lot of the teams who don't have a QB to offer in return to Denver in the mix (Bowlen and McDaniels have made it clear that they need to get a QB out of this). Plus, whichever Browns QB goes, the arrangement would solve the QB controversy that is sure to swallow Browns minicamp between the hometown boy and the Pro Bowler in a nice tidy way. The 49ers and Panthers have been mentioned briefly but don't seem to be among those pushing really hard. The Vikings, who with Cutler would probably be in the Super Bowl in my opinion, are also only moderately involved in trade talks and seem content with their Sage Rosenfels signing. The Bears, similarly to the Vikings, have expressed faith in Kyle Ortdon for some unknown reason. The weirdest one on this list for me is also the one that may be the front runner - the Redskins. The Redskins already have a fairly decent QB who just suffers from having a different offensive coordinator every fucking year, but Daniel Snyder must be allergic to the draft because he is constantly trading picks away and gets a hard-on for signing free agents. Seriously, he can't fuck Tanya unless he has just signed, or is thinking about signing, the latest slightly-over-the-hill overpriced guy.

The Lions seem to be at a slight disadvantage because no one in the NFL wants the 1st overall pick due to the financial burden it entails, so it's really their other 1st round pick (the 20th) that is on the table. This is unfortunate for the Lions because the other two teams that appear to be pushing the hardest for Cutler, the Redskins and the Bucs, pick at 13 and 19, respectively. One "high-profile NFL agent" (I love the anonymous sources these reporters use... 10 bucks says the "high-profile NFL agent" is the guy that cleans Drew Rosenhaus's fishtank) has said that Cutler may go for a first and second rounder this year and another first next year.

I don't see why people are expecting Cutler to go for this much. Would I be stunned if he went for two firsts and a second? No, I suppose not since there are a lot of teams and the bidding war might get a little loco... but the problem is that the Broncos have no leverage after Bowlen flat out stated that things are so bad that Cutler won't even return their calls and no one except a handful of people in their own front offices know how much these tight-lipped football execs really, truly like Cutler and are willing to pay for him. Plus, the precedent set this very offseason hurts the theory that a team will have to pay a downright extravagant fee for Cutler's service. Cassel, another up-and-coming QB in this league, went to the Chiefs for only a single second round pick... and the Chiefs got Mike Vrabel to boot. Now I'm not saying that Cutler will only fetch a single second round pick, but I would be mildly surprised if he went for as much as two firsts and a second. The Broncos are rumored to be requesting "more than" a first and a third. I'm not even entirely convinced that will hapen.

Another thing about Cutler that makes him incredibly desirable to teams is his contract. Cutler's contract is structured so that most of his money was paid through bonuses and therefore he is only owed $1.035 million in base salary next year. That is shockingly low. To put that in perspective, the Lions are paying Daunte Culpepper $5 million next year (although $2.5 million of it has been "pushed back") and if they were to select Matt Stafford first overall they would have to pay him $30-40 million in guaranteed money. How good does getting Jay Cutler and only having to pay him $1 million next year sound? Yeah, that's what I thought.

I have no problem admitting that I am a card-carrying, certified Jay Cutler fanboy so I would really like to see the Lions pick him up (not for two fucking firsts and second rounder though). The knock against him has always been that he takes too many chances and forces some balls he shouldn't. However, I don't mind having a guy with the gunslinger mentality and a little bit of swagger (some might call it overconfidence). The pros, on the other hand, are substantial. Cutler has elite arm strength, great mobility, he's only 25, he has improved significantly every year and he showed ridiculous toughness at Vanderbilt getting annhilated every game going up against far superior SEC talent but would still hang tough in the pocket every play. Many people feel that last year was just the tip of the iceberg as far as the offensive output of which he is capable.

Death to the Roundeyes!

2009-03-24T21:21:00.003-04:00

Some people have all sorts of suggestions for "fixing" the WBC, but as I read article after article on the subject it all just comes across as "waaah the United States didn't win". Well boo-fucking-hoo. The fact of the matter is that there is no good time to hold the event if you want to maximize major leaguer participation. During March? I'm not on the bandwagon claiming that the WBC is ruining the sanctity of spring training or anything (whatever the hell that is... I thought spring training was about getting drunk and heckling Chris Shelton), but the American public is kinda-sorta distracted by other things during this month. Perhaps not the best time. Right after the end of the MLB season? If players are unwilling to participate in March because it cuts into their offseason then I fail to see how they are going to be falling all over each other rushing to play a basically meaningless tournament right after 162 games (or more if they made the playoffs) when they could instead be buying plane tickets to Hawaii or starting their post-season recovery. During the All Star break? I suppose that this suggestion, depending on how it synchs up with the other leagues around the globe, makes the most sense to me... but I thought the whole point was that you were expanding the MLB brand? Instead every 4 years you'd just be sacrificing one of the biggest MLB events of the year to try and force Americans to watch something that they have already resoundingly stated that they don't care about.

That, however, is the crux of the matter. So many people in America view the WBC the past few years as a failure when in reality it has been a huge, resounding success. The point of the WBC was to increase exposure of Major League Baseball around the globe. Sure looks like it is doing a bang-up job of that to me. Almost 55,000 showed up for the Japan-Korea final and ratings are up across the board. The point of the tournament is for it to be much more internationally-focused - why can't people just accept this? Waaah America doesn't win everything. Waaah. Puh-leez.

Sportswriters are the only ones who seem to really care about the WBC anyway. I don't see why they are trying to shove this down our throats. Is it moderately entertaining and did I watch a lot of the games? Sure. Do I give two shits that America didn't win? Nope. You'd think they would learn that the good 'ol US of A has a history being utterly indifferent when the media tries to force it to like sports events. How did that $250 million work out LA Galaxy? El-o-el.

Curt-ain Call (Zing!)

2009-03-24T00:19:00.005-04:00

So Curt Schilling has retired today.

Actually yesterday. Unless you're on the West Coast, in which case it was still today. Or if you live in Guam. In which case it may have been two days ago. I say "may have been" because I tried to be clever and discover somewhere where it would be two days ago. But the calculations involved ended up being more complicated than I thought. I have grown weary of actually trying to figure this out and will say it was two days ago in Guam. If you feel like correcting me on this, be my guest.

Of course, he announced this on his blog, because where else would he do it? It's not like he could have called a press conference or something.

Given his unabashed publicity whoring over the years, I'm pretty surprised he didn't call a press conference. With fireworks. And tigers. And large-breasted women with loose morals.

Hooray for boobs!

ESPN posted an article. Somehow this article only mentions in passing what I will always remember him for - his victory over the Yankees in Game 7 of the 2001 World Series. Remember? The game when he pitched 7 1/3 innings on only 3 days rest? Randy Johnson closed the game by retiring the only 4 batters he faced after throwing 104 pitches the night before? Luis Gonzalez's walk-off single to beat a previously invincible Mariano Rivera and the three-time champs Yankees?

That game remains the single greatest game I have ever seen. In any sport.

No I don't include any Michigan games in this tally. If I did it might not make the top 10.

There was nothing about that game that wasn't awesome. It was a great pitching battle the whole time through.

In contrast to some other games in that series, where one team couldn't get an out.

Then Randy Johnson came out to pitch, and everybody said "Holy shit!" Then Mariano Rivera came out, and I almost turned the game off. He was untouchable that year. He's the only non-knuckleballer whom I've ever seen switch hitters hit off the same side as he throws. (Tony Fernandez was the hitter.) He had 50 saves that season. Mariano Rivera didn't blow saves. He didn't even give up hits.

I would like to know how many bats he broke that season versus how many hits he gave up. It seemed like almost every lefty he faced broke their bats that season.

I watched in disgust and prepared myself for watching the fucking Yankees win another fucking World Series. Then a ray of hope appeared. Rivera made a bad throw to second on a bunt. Then Brosius decided to hold on to a ball instead of making the throw for a double play. A hit by pitch and a bloop over a pulled-in infield ended it. Greatest. Game. Ever.

This post was done in the style of The Sound and the Fury. Except this post makes some sense. If you understood the reference, I feel sorry for you. If you didn't get the reference you never will because the book is impossible to read. Why would I do this? I felt like it, that's why.

Fuck You Zach

2009-03-21T20:46:00.006-04:00

Ever under-fire Tigers pitcher Zach Miner was finally put out of his misery earlier today. Thank you Jeebus.

Props to Leyland for stringing Miner along though:

"But there is that one little percentage that if some other things don't work out, it could happen."

I think there is a "99.9 percent" chance Miner's reaction was exactly like this:

NCAA Hockey!

2009-03-15T10:31:00.007-04:00

March is here, and that means everybody's favorite time of year is rapidly approaching. That's right it's time for the NCAA Hockey Tournament. I have been closely following college hockey all season, and by that I mean I just spent 15 minutes reading uscho.com this morning. This extensive research has brought me to some conclusions:

Apparently the NCAA Hockey Tournament has not started yet.
Michigan is currently set to be a #1 seed for the playoffs.
UNH was swept this weekend in the "Hockey East" tournament, giving me plenty of fodder with which to mock my classmates.
Apparently there is a school called Bemidji State, they have a hockey team, and they just won the CHA.

Before I break down the Hockey Tournament, I would like to point how great of a name Hockey East is. It's so simple. It involves hockey, and said hockey is played in the east. Somebody who has no knowledge of college hockey can instantly determine all they need to know about the conference just be reading the name. (This is in contrast to Atlantic Hockey, in which Air Force plays. For the geographically challenged, the Air Force Academy is located in Colorado, and Colorado is just about as far as you can get from the Atlantic Ocean. (Or perhaps they are just preparing for a post-apocalyptic America where the Atlantic Ocean extends to Colorado and all disputes are settled via college hockey.))

Computer-generated model of U.S. after global warming.

Now for my break-down the NCAA Hockey Tournament . . . Michigan will win. This is not just based on my own biases, but is the product of the aforementioned extensive research. First, Michigan's coach, Red Berenson, has quite possibly the manliest name in all of sports.

Pictured: Manliness

Second, Michigan has great forwards. Or defense. Maybe it's their power play. I don't actually know anything about hockey except that it's played on ice. If you actually read this whole thing expecting an actual breakdown of the NCAA hockey tournament, you need to reevaluate your life.

I don't know who this is, but he appears to play hockey for Michigan.

So there you have it, a complete and unbiased break-down (yes, I have spelled breakdown three different ways in this post) of NCAA Ice Hockey Championships. You're welcome.

Bondo, My Penis Both Feel Good

2009-03-14T14:13:00.009-04:00

This year is absolutely critical for the Tigers organization. The team is coming off a year where they had the second highest payroll in the majors... and finished last in the AL Central. Jim Leyland is in the last year of his contract. Also, GM Dave Dombrowski made relatively few moves this offseason for a team that many thought needed to add quality pitching.

The offense is expected to still be above-average (barring another snail-like start to the year from Cabrera). The return of Binge to the starting lineup and the acquisition of Adam Everett (.213 BA last year? Solid.) shouldn't slow down Magglio, Miguel, Placido and Gramsterdam too much. Gerald Laird is mildly intriguing offensively as well. No, the success of this 2009 Tigers team hinges solely around the pitching.

Placido Polanco was on The Simpsons. True story.

Some of the news coming out of spring training has been good. Other news not so good (Verlander going 9.1 IP with 9 H 9BB 5 K 6 ER so far, for example). But the fact remains that this pitching staff needs to get its shit together. Verlander is supposed to be the ace of the staff - going 11-17 is completely unacceptable. Bondo needs to recapture some of that 2007 magic when he was 10-1 at the All Star break. Porcello needs to step up and prove he was worth the 2007 1st round status and the contract that was so huge it pissed off Selig. Zumaya needs to stop being a dumbass. Galarraga? Keep doing whatever the hell it is you're doing.

Will the pitching turn itself around? I honestly have no idea. This team is just too Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde for anyone to really know. But spring training is a fun time for baseball and is a time when everyone is hopeful and looking forward to the upcoming season, so it's fun to pretend that Verlander and Bondo will both win 20+ games and Big Z will grow into the closer everyone expected him to. It's also fun to pretend that I'm a knight slaying a dragon when I'm in my pillow fort. Rawr. Plus, spring training gives us stuff like this:

Umm... No Comment.

Detroit, You Suck at Drawing

2009-03-11T14:24:00.009-04:00

The Detroit News recently had a contest to design a new logo for the Lions. The winning entry received one resounding "meh" from me... but since no one asked me my opinion (assholes!) I'll just make fun of the people who took the effort to send in entries. Aaah, the anonymity of the internet feels like a nice, warm, comforting blanket. So many of the entries were just plain fucking terrible though. I was going to add in more words to that last sentence so I could link to more pictures but, whatever, you folks get the point.

Half the time I was trying to figure out if the Detroit NFL team was the Bears or the Hedgehogs. Seriously people , how fucking hard is it to draw a muscular, wild killing machine (a lion, not Chris Benoit)? Like 90% of you don't even have jobs - practice a bit before you send your drawing of a prolapsed asshole that is (allegedly) supposed to be a lion.

I missed the deadline unfortunately, so it's too late for me to submit my drawing of Marinelli riding a giant penis. I'll go ahead and just post it here for your viewing pleasure though.

I couldn't get the scrotum to look quite right though. The testicles are too rounded. Wait. Everyone else has really blocky testicles and it's not just me... right? RIGHT?!?

I Expect to Cry Myself to Sleep on April 25th

2009-03-10T04:59:00.006-04:00

With the Combine behind us and most of the important free agency deals signed (questions remain about currently under-contract players such as Boldin and Julius Peppers, however), the NFL offseason is marching towards its crescendo that is the NFL Draft on April 25th and 26th. Only the pro days, which begin in the upcoming week, remain. Now granted, the pro days will be extremely important for a number of players (Crabtree, Andre Smith, Malcolm Jenkins, etc.) but most of the work is done and all of the tape has been viewed multiple times.

The question that seems to be on everyon's mind is, "Who will the Lions take with the first overall pick?" Unfortunately, the answer appears to be Stafford. All signs seem to indicate that the Lions plan on drafting a QB. After Kitna was traded to the 'Boys (Jesus-loving Kitna should be an interesting addition to an awesomely screwed up locker room atmosphere) and Orlovsky was allowed to go to the Texans, the current Lions QB depth chart reads like a bad, bad joke: Daunte Culpepper, Drew Stanton, Drew Henson. Unless Schwartz is planning to throw Stanton into the thick of it next year or make a last-minute bid for one of the FA QBs still out there (Garcia, Leftwich or JP Losman), I sincerely boubt that Mayhew and Schwartz are planning on rolling with Culpepper as their starter.

Unfortunately, the relationship between Josh McDaniels and Cutler appears to be on the mend so the train has left the station as far as the Lions having a shot at Cutler. On a side note, the Broncos fanbase that is mostly lambasting Cutler needs to get a life. Cutler is easily a top-10 QB and one of the league's true rising talents. The good people of Denver were spoiled by having Elway for so many years. So what if Cutler was a little miffed at management for trying to trade him? I'd be mad too if a new coach was hired and less than a month into his tenure his first major act as HC was to try and dump me out of town.

This man is trying to beat out Lane Kiffin for the "HC Wrecks New Team In Shortest Amount of Time As Possible" Award

At least some Denver fans are reasonable.

The problem is that the Lions have such a dearth of talent at nearly every position that any single draft pick is unlikely to affect huge change by himself. The answer then? Build a solid framework based around the offensive and defensive lines. First of all, there are some excellent OT prospects this year - Jason Smith and Eugene Monroe arguably being the standouts - whereas the QB crop is regarded by many to be overrated, dangerously inconsistent or just plain inexperienced. Any QB they drafted would likely be killed due to the ineptitude of the epically terrible joke of an offensive line the Lions coaching staff would trot out anyway, unless the O-line gets some much needed help. But hey, that whole "throw the young QB to the wolves with no O-line" worked out really great for David Carr... right? Oh, woops.

It was disturbing when I was trying to come up with a list of strong points for the Lions - positions at which I deemed the Lions needed less/no help from the draft - that I was only able to come up with a few names. Obviously Calvin Johnson is the diamond in the rough that is the Lions. Ernie Sims has now put together 3 strong seasons at OLB and is unquestioningly our best player on defense. Kevin Smith showed a lot of heart last year, rushing for almost 1000 yards despite questionable decisions by the coaching staff to keep him out of the starting lineup and having one of the worst offensive lines in NFL history be his blockers. Along the way he cared only for the team and never complained when he was benched in favor of Rudi Johnson, despite performing relatively well. Cliff Avril is another player that has earned himself more playing time next year (5 sacks in limited action in 2008). Corey Redding may deserve to be on the list since he was been pretty solid throughout his career, but he may just not be big enough to act in the Haynesworth-type role that will be asked of him when Schwartz implements his 4-3 desensive scheme (Redding listed at 295 lbs / Haynesworth 320+) .

The secondary is also in shambles, but the DB group in this year's draft is relatively weak. Malcolm Jenkins especially had an extremely disappointing combine. With the acquisition of the fairly solid Anthony Henry (168 tackles, 9 ints and 39 PD from 2006-08) from Dallas and an adjustment in the overall defensive philosophy, I believe the secondary is not the best area to address with an early pick.

With all the help that this team needs, it seems obvious that the best pick to make the team as a whole better and more secure for the future is a dominant OT (J. Smith / Monroe) or, perhaps, Aaron Curry.

I know, I know... I just blathered on how the last thing the Lions need is to take a skill position player with the first pick, but Aaron Curry may be special enough to make an exception. All hinging on whether or not they could successfully switch him to MLB (with Sims playing weakside OLB). Aaron Curry is that Calvin Johnson-esque freak of an athlete that comes around so rarely. Considering Calvin qualifies as one of the few picks that Lions management has made that has actually worked out (in fact, worked out really, really well), then perhaps it is worth it to adopt the policy that the team is so unbelievably bad and needs so much help that the best course of action is to just take the best player available.

The FA pool the Lions could draw from the offseason was virtually nonexistent. Believe it or not, players don't want to go to an economically-ravaged city and play for a team coming off an 0-16 season. Weird, huh? To have any chance at improving in the upcoming years, the Lions need to have an extremely strong draft this year. Mayhew started his tenure off the right way by robbing the Cowboys. Now it's time to make another strong move and plan for the future by taking either Jason Smith, Eugene Monroe or Aaron Curry witht he first overall pick in the 2009 draft. My personal choice would be J. Smith, but I would be happy with any of them.

That said, I fully expect Stafford to be suiting up for the Lions next year and it makes me cry.

UPDATE:

Make this happen Mayhew. Make. It. Happen.

What To Watch For: Michigan Football Spring Practice

2009-03-04T06:27:00.014-05:00

We miss you Jake.

With Michigan Football Spring Practice less than 2 weeks away (official start is March 14), its time to take a look at 5 key questions that surround the team this offseason.

1. Will Tate Forcier prove he is capable of starting from Day 1?

When the season ended and everyone looked to next season, all the talk focused on who would be the quarterback next season. OK let's not kid ourselves, the debate probably began around the second quarter of the Toledo game if not sooner. Would Tate Forcier come in and start from day one, would he split time with Steven Threet, or would Threet beat him out and remain the starter? Obviously all of these questions changed when Threet announced that he would transfer. However, amidst his transfer, rumors emerged that Threet was told by the coaches that Forcier would be getting a majority of the first team snaps in spring practice. Therefore Threet saw the writing on the wall that Rodriguez would be moving forward with his new recruits (Forcier and Denard Robinson). Whether or not this rumor is true is up for debate, but it seems clear that Rodriguez would likely have given Forcier a larger percentage of the snaps in spring practice. Early reports from 7 on 7 drills include stories of Forcier hitting unsuspecting receivers in the back of the head with his quick release and accuracy. Any completion was a welcome surprise last season as Threet and Nick Sheridan were barely able to loft the ball 5 yards on a swing pass, so it comes as no surprise that receivers weren't expecting the ball to be there as quickly as Forcier gets it to them. Forcier's familiarity with the spread offense in high school should serve him well and he understands the idea of Rodriguez's offense: Get the ball to the playmakers in the open field. He said as much in an interview on mgoblog:

I’m not going to try to do too much. I’m going to manage the team, rather than try to make the big play and taking a sack. The seniors and juniors make the plays, and I’ll just keep moving the chains.

All signs point toward him being the favorite to start and spring practice will show how quickly he can pick up the offense. And really with the Threet transfer, he should be the starter. It remains to be seen if he will be ready for Western Michigan on September 5.

2. Do leaders emerge on either side of the ball?

During the off-season last year, Rodriguez got rid of the Michigan tradition of naming captains before the season. Instead, he went with "game-day" captains and had the players vote on season captains at the end of the season. This was met with speculation that there would be a lack of true leaders among the team. There were numerous reports of rifts between last year's seniors, especially the defensive line, and the coaching staff which could have been the real reason for a lack of leadership. Either way, three of the four captains named at the end of the season were senior defensive linemen: Tim Jamison, Terrance Taylor, and Will Johnson. So the leaders that the players voted for were among those rumored to have issues with the coaching staff. Awesome leadership guys. The fourth captain? Mike Massey. Yes, that Mike Massey. Mike Massey whose 2008 season totals were: 0 rec, 0 yds, 0 TD. The same Mike Massey whose career totals were: 20 rec, 161 yds, 2 TD. At least he could block......nope couldn't do that either. Yes, the 2nd or 3rd string tight end was a captain. And we didn't see 3-9 coming?

Anyway, looking forward to next season, Brandon Minor and Brandon Graham should be the leaders on their respective sides of the ball. There really isn't much of a debate here as both guys came out after last season and specifically said that they plan on leading the team. Minor even says that he plans on making sure everyone on the team buys into RichRod's program (hinting that it didn't happen last season) in a video found on mgoblue (it's hard to directly link the video, click on the football tab to find the video). It doesn't hurt that Minor and Graham will to be the best players on the team next season. Look for them to have strong spring practices and expect them to be named captains at the end of next season. Some other players who could emerge in a leadership role are upperclassmen Greg Mathews, Donovan Warren, Steve Schilling, Jonas Mouton, Carlos Brown and yes, Zoltan Mesko.

3. Will this year's spring game be better than last year's?

Last year's spring game was by all accounts, an utter disaster. Played at Ann Arbor Saline, it was a cold, rainy day highlighted by.........not much. The public was not allowed, although the press was able to provide a sketch of what happened. Both Threet and Sheridan struggled mightily (but hey they were just learning right?), the offense looked terrible as Rodriguez was attempting to install his system (hey they were just learning right?), and the defense wasn't much better as it tried to learn Scott Shafer's system (hey they were just learn......ok you get it).

This season, the game returns to Michigan Stadium on April 11 and there is no reason to believe that it won't much cleaner as the players will have had a full year under Rodriguez. Their familiarity on offense should lead to better execution even with Forcier and Sheridan at quarterback. The defense might struggle a bit as they will be learning Greg Robinson's system, the third defensive system in as many years for some of the upperclassmen. All things considered, expect a much better game but if they struggle, hey they're just learning right?

4. Who emerges as a playmaker on offense?

Last year's team really lacked playmakers on offense and the problem with that is deeper than just the obvious "every team needs playmakers." Rodriguez's offense is based around playmakers. He wants to get the ball to fast, elusive little ninjas who make defenders miss in open space (see Slaton, Steve or Devine, Noel). He also needs a quarterback who is a threat to run. That doesn't mean the quarterback needs to run, he just needs to be a threat. By the end of last season, Threet was so afraid of running (and getting hurt) that defenses didn't even bother leaving a defender for him. Sheridan, well, he's Sheridan and no one really fears him. McGuffie made plays early in the season, but seemed to become more tentative as his injuries and concussions piled up. Minor is more of a bruiser who pounded the rock between the tackles. Martavious Odoms showed some promise at slot receiver, but completing a wide receiver screen was a minor miracle last season. Essentially this issue comes back to the quarterback getting the ball to the receiver.

These guys will be scoring a lot next season.

This spring, expect to hear the praise for how quickly Forcier gets the ball to the playmakers. He reportedly has the speed to be a threat to run and in all likelihood can throw a 5 yard slant over the middle or a swing pass. The playmakers Rodriguez is looking for will likely line up mostly at the slot but he will likely move them around and use some at running back as well. Minor will be the starter at tailback and has shown the ability to break tackles and make plays inside the tackles. Odoms figures to be one of the main guys at the slot but watch out for Terrence Robinson as well. Robinson was reportedly going to start over Odoms at slot before a knee injury caused him to redshirt last season. At 5'9" 170 lbs, he is the ideal Rodriguez ninja. Michael Shaw was bothered by a few injuries throughout his freshman campaign but showed some flashes of brilliance and will get time at both running back and slot this spring. Vincent Smith is an early enrollee who measures a diminutive 5'6" 159 lbs but rushed for over 2,000 yds as a senior in high school while scoring 29 TDs. He should benefit from the strength and conditioning program this off-season and will also get a look at running back and slot. The last guy is Carlos Brown. Brown has seemingly been injured for over 2 years but said that he was starting to feel close to 100% at the end of last season. It showed in his 115 yard performance in the Northwestern game filling in for Minor. He also filled in for Mike Hart against Illinois and Minnesota 2 years ago, gaining 113 and 132 yards respectively. He is faster than Minor and has the ability to make big plays. Look for him to have a strong spring at running back if he stays healthy (a fairly big if given his injury history).

5. What newcomers (redshirts/early enrollees) figure to contribute?

As mentioned in the playmakers section, Terrence Robinson is one of the redshirt freshmen who will contribute at slot and will have a chance to return punts. Quite a few offensive linemen redshirted last year and two names to look out for are Ricky Barnum and Rocko Khoury. Both have strong chances to compete for a starting job and should at the very least provide depth to a unit that severely lacked depth last year. Brandon Moore was a big recruit (4 stars, 6'6" 220) who will have bulked up during his redshirt year and will compete at tight end, a position that Rodriguez is looking to utilize more next season (rumors have RichRod picking the brains at Oklahoma and Florida to see how they use their TEs). J.B. Fitzgerald played in all 12 games on special teams, but started to see some defensive action in the last few games. He should be in the mix at linebacker. With Stevie Brown as only returner at safety, Brandon Smith will get a chance at safety and should at the very least seem some action. He figures be better than Brown at geometry (who isn't?) and therefore might know how to take an angle to make a tackle.

The two most obvious early enrollee contributors are Forcier and Will Campbell. Forcier is for basically the starter before even practicing with the team officially in pads. Campbell is a mass of humanity (6'5" 317 lbs) that will definitely get playing time at defensive tackle, arguably the thinnest position on the team in terms of depth. He has drawn rave reviews so far with his dedication to the strength and conditioning program from Mike Barwis (Barwis porn included here for the uninitiated) and Brandon Minor. Optimistic view is that he is a starter for the opener; pessimistic view is that he at least is in the rotation. Vincent Smith will get a shot at RB and maybe slot as mentioned above, as RichRod can never have too many ninjas. Anthony LaLota is another big guy (6'6" 260) who will get a chance at defensive end but only started playing football as a junior. He is raw, and would likely redshirt but will get a chance this spring (and summer) to prove he can contribute to a shorthanded defensive line. Brandin Hawthorne and Mike Jones (who? Mike Jones) will get a chance at linebacker and safety, both positions that need improvement over last season, but they might need a year to bulk up to contribute. The x-factor is Vlad Emilien, a 6'0" 190 lb safety from Ohio. He tore his ACL before his senior season but was still a highly recruited 4 star with offers from schools like Ohio State, Wisconsin, and Tennessee. If he is fully recovered from the injury, he could have a strong spring at a position that desperately needs improvement. Ideally, some other returners step up and Vlad gets to redshirt.

And finally, a more detailed look at each postion and some names to look for this spring and summer. Some of the new recruits have links to their highlight videos.

Offense

Quarterback:

Forcier and Sheridan will be competing but it shouldn't be much of a competition. Forcier will most likely establish himself as the starter. The real challenge might come from the ridiculously fast Denard Robinson this summer but Forcier will have a significant head start and Rodriguez's confidence before then. Enjoy this fake going away chat for Threet provided by Wolverine Liberation Army.

Running back:

Minor is the obvious starter. Carlos Brown returns as the primary backup. Kevin Grady (yes he is still alive) and Mike Cox (great name) will be the short yardage backs. Cox has a greatchance to get most of the short yardage carries given Grady's track record and his minimal playing time this past season. Michael Shaw might get some time here after playing sparingly as a freshman. Midget/ninja Vincent Smith might get a look this spring as a change of pace back. Recruit Fitzgerald Touissant (BEST NAME YET) will get a chance when he shows up this summer.

Fullback:

Mark Moundros is the returning starter and should be uncontested. RichRod likes to bring in fullbacks as walk-ons like he did with Owen Schmitt at WVU (Owen Schmitt beats self with helmet) and already has a few signed up.

Slot receiver:

Martavious Odoms returns as the starter but Terrence Robinson will definitely get plenty of action as mentioned earlier. Michael Shaw should get some time here in the spring as he primarily played RB this past season simply because the coaching staff didn't want him to have to learn multiple positions as a true freshman (he is officially listed as a WR on the roster). Roy Roundtree redshirted last season and will get a chance. Converted QB Justin Feagin will probably get a chance at slot as he didn't prove he could hack it at QB last year. Rodriguez can't get enough of these guys and signed two more this year. Army All-American Jeremy Gallon (provided he manages a 22 on his ACT; insert you get an 18 for your name joke here; fingers crossed) and Teric Jones are two more midgets who will get a shot this summer.

Outside receiver:

Greg Mathews and Darryl Stonum return but expect Junior Hemingway to figure prominently this spring. Hemingway played in the first 4 games but got mono and received a medical redshirt. He will ideally provide a deep threat on the outside that was lacking last season (along with the fact that the ball rarely got to the receivers downfield). Mathews is a Jason Avant-like receiver who has great hands and mediocre speed but has proven to be a good possession receiver. Stonum was a fairly well thought-of recruit who had a so-so freshman season. Look for at least one of these three to take a big step forward if they have a quarterback who can get them the ball. LaTerryal Savoy played some last year mostly due to Hemingway being out but the coaching staff reportedly likes him and he might be a factor. Je'Ron Stokes is another Army All-American who will compete this summer at both outside and slot receiver (at 6'1" he projects more as an outside guy but is fast enough to play either). Cameron Gordon is another recruit who will get a chance at receiver when he shows up but might eventually make a move to LB.

Tight end:

Kevin Koger and Brandon Moore will be the primary guys at tight end. Look for Rodriguez to attempt to get the position more involved in the offense as these two guys have a lot of talent.

Tackle:

Mark Ortmann and Steve Schilling return at left tackle and right tackle respectively and should lock up those spots with solid springs. Schilling is a stud, but Ortmann is a question mark. If he struggles, Perry Dorrestein also got a few starts last year and will be in the mix. Redshirt freshmen Patrick Omameh and Dann O'Neill might push for some time but likely still need another year and will at the very least provide much needed depth. The 2 freshmen recruits, Under Armour All-American Taylor Lewan and Michael Schofield should redshirt as offensive line recruits generally need a year or two plus the O-line has some depth built up from redshirting 6 guys last year. Lewan is one of those "huge upside" guys and already has the Jake Long comparisons surrounding him as mentioned in this interview:

Taylor's favorite player: former Michigan left tackle and current Miami Dolphin Jake Long. Dave told me that every Sunday, “Taylor watches the Dolphin games, and actually rewinds every offensive play to see what Jake was doing, and his technique.”

It's probably a fair comparison as Long was an upside guy who was rated about same as Lewan coming out of high school and has a very similar frame (Lewan is 6'6" 270). Lewan was actually a defensive player until his senior year and ended up as a top-5 player in Arizona after transferring and moving to tackle. Imagine how the coach at his first school that didn't see his potential as a tackle feels.

Guard:

Both guard spots were a bit of a mess last year. David Moosman started all 12 games at right guard and obviously will compete for that spot again. 3 guys started at left guard: Tim McAvoy, converted DT John Ferrara, and Mark Ortmann even switched over from tackle for a few games. Ferrara was switched from DT in the middle of summer practices and ended up starting at the end of the season. He'll compete with McAvoy who might also back up the tackle spots. Redshirt freshmen Ricky Barnum and Rocko Khoury will definitely be competing for the guard spots and have good chances to see major playing time. Quinton Washington is a very solid recruit who has the size to play right away but will probably redshirt due to depth.

Center:

David Molk started all 12 games as a redshirt freshman and was one of the few bright spots along the offensive line. Not much else to say other than Molk has a lock on the center position and look for some of the guards to back him up.

Defense

Defensive end:
Brandon Graham has a chance to be as good as LaMarr Woodley and although he isn't on the preseason Lombardi watchlist, he should be by the end of the season. He was by far the best player on the team last year and figures to have a very strong senior campaign. Expect Greg Robinson to utilize him in a couple of ways to free him up to make plays. The other defensive end is a bit of a question mark. Ryan Van Bergen has the most experience and will enter spring as the other starter. He was fairly mediocre last year and spring practice will be a good indicator if he is ready to step up. The other DEs with a little experience are Greg Banks and Adam Patterson and there isn't much to say about either. One of the three will need to solidify the other end spot. The 2 darkhorses are a pair of freshman recruits. Anthony LaLota as mentioned is a bit of a project but should benefit from enrolling early. If he can pick up some technique over the next 6 months, he has a shot at some playing time because he already has the size. Craig Roh was a teammate of Taylor Lewan, an Under Armour All-American and is another upside guy who is a bit light (6'4" 230) but has the technique. He was killing the top tackles at the Under Armour game with a deceptively good spin move and was able to track down dual-threat QB Russell Shepard (the #1 recruit in the country according some recruiting services) with relative ease. He should be able to be a legimate pass rushing threat as a true freshman. One or both freshmen could redshirt but the lack of depth at the position will probably cause at least one not to.

Defensive tackle:

As mentioned earlier, defensive tackle will be the thinnest position on the team in terms of depth. Both starters from last year need to be replaced but Mike Martin will solidly fill one of the two voids after a very good true freshman season. He was the first guy off the bench in the tackle rotation and has plenty of experience. Pencil in early enrollee Will Campbell at the other spot. As mentioned earlier, he has the size and the talent and just needs to get acclimated to the college game. The only other returner at DT is French Canadian Renaldo Sagesse who will compete for a spot almost by default. Greg Banks and Adam Patterson might slide inside from DE as well. Vince Helmuth moved from FB to DT during the season and is an unknown at this point. Greg Robinson plans on mixing his defensive fronts so sometimes there might only be one DT on the field half of the time.

Linebacker:

We now reach the positions of major woe last season. John Thompson is thankfully gone at strongside linebacker but its not his fault. He was born to play about 2 years ago when linebackers could be as slow as linemen. Jonas Mouton returns at weakside linebacker and showed major improvement toward the end of last season. He is someone who could emerge as a playmaker from the linebacker position. Obi Ezeh returns at middle linebacker and didn't show much improvement in his second year after an outstanding freshman year. If he can get a bit faster and improve his reads, he will be a factor. The linebackers are all grouped as one because most of them will likely play more than one LB spot. J.B. Fitzgerald has a good chance to be the strongside linebacker. Marell Evans and Kenny Demens will compete at strongside and middle respectively. Early enrollee Brandin Hawthorne will likely redshirt but might contribute on special teams. Robinson might use anywhere from 2-4 linebackers at a time depending on the scheme that week and the team they are playing. At the very least, it can't get much worse than what it was last year.

Cornerback:

Donovan Warren and Boubacar Cissoko will be the starters. Warren followed up an impressive freshman year with an underachieving sophmore season. Cissoko is a bit undersized but played well in nickel duty as a freshman. Many will rejoice the departure of Morgan Trent who finally exhausted what seemed like 8 years of eligibility. Again, there is no where to go but up at this position as well. J.T. Turner was the #1 player in Ohio and is basically the next Charles Woodson. He's 6'2" 185 lbs and proved he can cover anyone at the Army All-American game. He should be the 3rd corner and will get a lot of playing time. Can't really say enough about this guy, but he has the chance to be a special player. JT Floyd and Troy Woolfolk are 2 returners who will be in the mix for the nickel and dime packages. Lowly ranked Adrian Witty will come with high school teammate Denard Robinson this summer. Some considered him a package deal with Denard but Michigan seemed to want him regardless. Witty blew out his knee before his senior year and the experts didn't think much of him. He was supposedly as fast or faster than Denard before the injury. A definite redshirt, he will at least provide depth and could maybe turn into a player a few years from now.

Safety:

One of the worst performing positions on the team loses Charles Stewart (who we played against in high school and was not impressive then) and Brandon Harrison (who definitely failed geometry) but retains Stevie Brown. Everyone can rejoice! Or don't. But honestly Stevie Brown came out of last spring as one of those players who the coaches couldn't stop raving about. During the season, he was one of the players that the fans couldn't stop talking about........because he sucked. Every Michigan fan would be happy if this guy put it together his senior year and had a good season. He will definitely return as a starter, but the position should have better competition this season. Michael Williams and Brandon Smith will both compete for time at safety and both project as upgrades over the last few years of un-safety-ness. Four new recruits come in at safety: Vlad Emilien and Mike Jones who were discussed earlier, Isaiah Bell, and Thomas Gordon. Bell is someone who might develop into a linebacker along with Jones because of their larger frames. Bell was very highly though of by some recruiting services and not so much by others. The teammate of awesomely named Fitzgerald Toussaint, he was impressive at the Under Armour All-America Game and appears to also know geometry. He has a legitimate shot at some playing time as a freshman. Gordon was a high school QB, but is a good athlete who will need a few years. Emilien and Jones are probably redshirts as well but you can never count out special teams duty.

Special teams

Kicker:

Incoming freshman Brendan Gibbons should take over the kicking duties from KC Lopata. Bryan Wright might continue to kick off and will compete with Gibbons on field goals.

Punter:

Zoltan.

Kick returner:

Cissoko, Brown, Odoms, Shaw, and TRobinson will figure into the kick returns. Incoming freshmen Jones, Touissant, Gallon, and Smith will also be factors and will likely be an improvement on this.

Punt returner:

Odoms and Mathews were the 2 main returners last season with some disastrous results. Both will probably continue next year but TRobinson and Warren will also get a shot. The 4 freshmen ninjas will also get a chance.

Stephen A. Smith with Breaking News!

2009-03-02T11:56:00.005-05:00

It's no secret that I am not a big fan of Stephen A. Smith. Comments don't become unique or insightful at a higher volume, despite what SAS may think. However, don't ever let it be said that the man is not fulfilling his media role to bring important and difficult-to-find information to the interested public.

"MY SOURCES TELL ME THAT BARRY BONDS MIGHT HAVE TAKEN STEROIDS!!"

According to Stephen A. Smith's "sources," Allen Iverson will come off of the bench on Tuesday night. Who are these mysterious sources, you may ask? Might it be...the coach of the Detroit Pistons and of Allen Iverson, Michael Curry?

"Curry announced earlier Friday that Hamilton would be back in the starting lineup and Iverson would move to the bench. Curry said he broke the news to Iverson on Thursday night, and the All-Star guard wasn't thrilled." (via freep.com)

Thank you, SAS, for this breaking news. You, sir, are a credit to the media.

Even God Hates the Red Sox

2009-03-02T09:31:00.002-05:00

They closed the school today because there is a blizzard in New England. We are expected to get 8 to 12 inches. In March. "Scientists" explain the snow is a result of low pressure system from the mid-Atlantic states running into a stationary front. I don't understand a word of that sciency mumbo-jumbo, but it sounds like bullshit to me. I know the real reason for this frosty aberration: God hates the Boston Red Sox and is punishing all of New England for their allegiance to these douchey ne'er-do-wells.

Horns added, ridiculous facial expression in original

Brook Lopez is Awesome

2009-02-27T13:54:00.007-05:00

So amidst a SportsCenter top 10 the other night, I see Devin Harris' glorious half-court heave. The heave is sure to go down in history, not simply as an amazing shot, but as the catalyst to this interview with Brook Lopez (his part starts at 0:20). Upon seeing this interview, I decided to look into just what else I could find out about this Brook Lopez fella beyond the two facts I already knew:

1. He is tall.

2. He somehow appears to be less strange than his identical twin.

Even professional photographers can't make them look normal.

As it turns out, for Brook Lopez, normal must be an incredibly relative term. As if the interview that spawned my interest didn't completely give it away, Brook Lopez is a bit of a meathead. Not an annoying, stupid, full-of-himself meathead (think this guy), but more of a pleasantly slow meathead (think this guy).

A Google video search of Brook Lopez turns up some gems (though, disappointingly, not very much porn despite his androgynous name). In a pre-draft interview, the guy who has been playing basketball since a young age (his Wikipedia entry says he was "born into a life of basketball and art." Am I surprised? No.) stated that the skill he needs to work on the most is "shooting." Not a particular kind of shooting. Not a baby hook. Not his free throws. Not his mid-range jumper. Just shooting.

In another pre-draft interview, Brook reveals that he needs to work on his defense and rebounding. So, to recap, Brook Lopez views his areas of weakness as:

1. Shooting.

2. Defense.

3. Rebounding.

Brook also was mic'd up during the NBA Draft. This reveals his true colors, and why I am now a fan. Brook makes fun of Brady Quinn. Therefore, Brook Lopez is a good judge of character. Brook emphatically proclaims "This is boring!!!" despite the fact that he is at the draft because teams are fighting for the right to make him a millionaire. Therefore, Brook Lopez is cool under pressure. Brook reveals that he didn't know that Lawrence Frank was the coach of the Nets, who drafted Brook. This Frank-related confusion is understandable, since Frank looks even younger than Brook acts. Therefore, Brook calls 'em like he sees 'em. A good judge of character, cool under pressure, and a straight shooter. You, Brook Lopez, are awesome.

Binge Redeems Himself

2009-02-25T18:58:00.006-05:00

I don't think I'm making an overstatement when I say that Spring Training is perhaps the most important part of the season. With that in mind, imagine my excitement when I saw that Binge went 2-for-2 today, thus vindicating himself vis-a-vis the last post.

The pinnacle of greatness

Then I read the rest of the box score. Binge's throwing error, the only Tigers' error of the game, led to three unearned runs.

Jackass

This may come as a surprise to some, but Binge is only on the team because of his fielding. I know, it's shocking. But when you hit .205/11/51, you better be a damn good fielder. In fact, you better be Rey Fucking Ordonez. There's two major differences between Rey Ordonez and Inge, however.

Rey Ordonez's lifetime BA was .246 to Inge's .237
Ordonez was a shortstop.

I can't for the life of me figure out why Inge is an option at third base. His numbers were acceptable when he was catcher, but barely. But there's a reason why some the greatest hitters in recent history (e.g., Brett, Schmidt, Boggs, Jones) have played third base: it's the easiest position to play except for first base. Even left field requires you to be able run fast. The Tigers need to bring up Mike Hessman. He can't hit for average, but neither can Inge. Plus, Hessman will put up 25+ homers per year. He's nowhere near the fielder Inge is, but who cares. We're talking about third base.

Big Z's Key to Success: Tamales

2009-02-24T20:11:00.009-05:00

No Guitar Hero as well, obviously.

Rock on Joel... Wait, actually don't.

Joel Zumaya, by all accounts, has been dominant throwing BP so far this spring training. To what does he credit his return to form? The doctors that surgically repaired his shoulder? Pitching coach Rick Knapp? An intense offseason conditioning and rehabilitation program? Nope, none of the above. Tamales are his muse apparently.

Only in baseball can an athlete (and I use that term loosely for a lot of baseball players) put on 40 pounds of pure fat and have the coach think this is a good thing.

"'I thought he lost too much [last year],' manager Jim Leyland has said."

I love you baseball.

Since when is The Detroit News going to Brandon Inge to assess pitching talent though?

"Brandon Inge, one of the hitters who faced Zumaya, called the session 'pretty dominating. He had an incredible curveball.'"

This Brandon Inge is still the one playing for the Tigers... right? The same guy who hit .205 last year and had 94 strikeouts in 347 at bats. No offense Binge, but I'll wait for the verdict on Zumaya until I hear it from someone a little more skilled at hitting the ball. I bet every curveball looks "incredible" to you.

This is Binge striking out. You will see it approximately 140 times next year.

Nonetheless, perhaps I am just a glutton for punishment but I am excited for the upcoming baseball season. The Tigers aren't expected to be great by any means, but just having baseball back always feels good. Plus Big Z is healthy again - let's just hope he can stay that way. Todd Jones is gone. I just hope Brandon Lyon can capture some of that magic he had at the beginning of last season with the Dbacks. Cabrera now has a full year under his belt at first base. Rick Porcello, the Tigers' 2007 1st round draft choice, is looking good and has a shot to make the team. Also, while the Tigers didn't make any huge moves in the offseason, neither did the rest of the AL Central. Okay, so the Twins got Joe Crede. The guy has missed 180 games in the last 2 seasons... let's temper our expectations here people.

Another year?

2009-02-24T12:06:00.006-05:00

Tomorrow is one of the best days of the year. At 1:05 p.m. EST (6:05 p.m. GMT), spring training games begin. With any luck, this means we can stop hearing about A-Rod being a cheater and start hearing about the retarded injuries that for some reason only happen to baseball players. Unfortunately, despite my repeated offseason letters to Bud Selig, the Red Sox will be one of the teams playing. Adding to my crushing disappointment is the fact that the Red Sox are the only team playing twice.

"But Dad, I don't want to play baseball. I want to dance."

In what will undoubtedly be an extremely interesting game, the Sox will open against Boston College. For the nightcap, they will play against the Twins. What does this mean for baseball fans everywhere? I have no idea. The answer to the only important question—what does this mean for me?—is painfully obvious. Starting tomorrow, I will be forced to listen to the obnoxious, ill-informed, and incessant blathering of Red Sox fans.

These guys.

Friday Night Lights....One of the best shows on television and no one knows it

2009-02-24T04:06:00.014-05:00

I have to admit that until recently, I was one of those people that didn't know the greatness of Friday Night Lights. After quickly watching every episode available on Hulu (around 40 episodes), I'll admit that the show is highly addicting. I guess the fact that I watched over 30 hours of the show in less than a week proves how addicting it can be. While its faults are numerous (the realism, Jason Street's character, the first half of season 2, how every game is decided by the final play), the show provides a highly entertaining look at high school football in Texas. The character development and personal relationships are where FNL really shines while mixing in plenty of situational humor. Tim Riggins has quickly become one of my favorite TV characters of all time. At the risk of providing any spoilers, I will refrain from any further details or opinions. Season 3 is currently premiering on NBC every friday night and is available online immediately after (NBC or Hulu are two of your viewing options). The main message is simply this: Watch this show.

The NFL Draft: Kinda Gay

2009-02-24T03:48:00.014-05:00

It's late February - that time of year when hardcore NFL fans waste too much of their lives following largely irrelevant Combine workouts. Time and time again the DeAngelo Hall-esque Combine warriors have come and gone... and time and time again people still seem to care that Chase Daniel ran a 4.92 40, Orakpo had a 39.5" vertical and so on. I'd like to see that pudgy Keebler Elf Daniel run a sub-5.00 in pads. I'd like to see Orakpo go relatively injury free for a whole year (Google's first suggestion when you type in Orakpo is "Orakpo injury" - not a good sign).

Keebler Daniel says: "Get me a cookie now - raaaargh. Also, please don't let Maclin go. I am nothing without him." begins weeping

More than the fact that incredibly exacting detail is paid to a relatively pointless littany of numbers however, I am struck by how incredibly... well... gay the NFL Combine is. When an intelligent, well-versed football writer can type out the following without anyone batting an eye:

"Wells is a beast. At over six foot he runs high, but carries his 240 pounds like a 14-point buck. His weight is distributed well over his well-defined frame."

... then, my friends, shit has officially fallen squarely in the realm of Liberace and The Birdcage. A "14-point buck"? A "well-defined frame"? Tony, if you want to bang Beanie then just go ahead and say it. It's 2009. Sean Penn just won Best Actor for his portrayal of Harvey Milk. Same-sex partners can marry in Massachusetts and Connecticut with more states sure to follow soon. www.lovethecock.com is prospering. It's safe - time to let out what you feel deep in your soul.

In short, everything about the entire process just feels a little gay. It's not often that you get a group of men together and start arguing about who has the choicest calves out of another group of men. Mayock, McShay, Kiper, et al are all enjoying their jobs a little bit too much methinks. Then again, the players themselves aren't helping out - half of them seem to enjoy writing poetry.

Well I'm sorry Beanie, but you didn't look fabulous. 4.59 40? You're lucky Moreno choked too or else or you'd be crying yourself to sleep on your slightly smaller pile of money from being the second RB taken in the draft instead of the first.