Even God Hates the Red Sox

They closed the school today because there is a blizzard in New England. We are expected to get 8 to 12 inches. In March. "Scientists" explain the snow is a result of low pressure system from the mid-Atlantic states running into a stationary front. I don't understand a word of that sciency mumbo-jumbo, but it sounds like bullshit to me. I know the real reason for this frosty aberration: God hates the Boston Red Sox and is punishing all of New England for their allegiance to these douchey ne'er-do-wells.

Horns added, ridiculous facial expression in original