Bondo, My Penis Both Feel Good

This year is absolutely critical for the Tigers organization. The team is coming off a year where they had the second highest payroll in the majors... and finished last in the AL Central. Jim Leyland is in the last year of his contract. Also, GM Dave Dombrowski made relatively few moves this offseason for a team that many thought needed to add quality pitching.

The offense is expected to still be above-average (barring another snail-like start to the year from Cabrera). The return of Binge to the starting lineup and the acquisition of Adam Everett (.213 BA last year? Solid.) shouldn't slow down Magglio, Miguel, Placido and Gramsterdam too much. Gerald Laird is mildly intriguing offensively as well. No, the success of this 2009 Tigers team hinges solely around the pitching.

Placido Polanco was on The Simpsons. True story.

Some of the news coming out of spring training has been good. Other news not so good (Verlander going 9.1 IP with 9 H 9BB 5 K 6 ER so far, for example). But the fact remains that this pitching staff needs to get its shit together. Verlander is supposed to be the ace of the staff - going 11-17 is completely unacceptable. Bondo needs to recapture some of that 2007 magic when he was 10-1 at the All Star break. Porcello needs to step up and prove he was worth the 2007 1st round status and the contract that was so huge it pissed off Selig. Zumaya needs to stop being a dumbass. Galarraga? Keep doing whatever the hell it is you're doing.

Will the pitching turn itself around? I honestly have no idea. This team is just too Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde for anyone to really know. But spring training is a fun time for baseball and is a time when everyone is hopeful and looking forward to the upcoming season, so it's fun to pretend that Verlander and Bondo will both win 20+ games and Big Z will grow into the closer everyone expected him to. It's also fun to pretend that I'm a knight slaying a dragon when I'm in my pillow fort. Rawr. Plus, spring training gives us stuff like this: